Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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PsyOps Grocery Shop

Caveat Emptor
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When you walk into the PsyOps Grocery Shop, your volition will be assaulted from all sides by every dirty and dastardly trick modern advertizing warfare has at it’s disposal. Hunger inducing packaging, impulse purchase product placement: These things are child’s play compared to the psychological onslaught you will subconsciously endure at the PsyOps Grocery Shop. Here, no ploys are disallowed. It is the play ground of amoral marketing. It is also the crucible in which you, as the consumer can pit your psyche against the most aggressive marketing strategies modern marketing has to offer.

Floors are slightly canted to make walking towards the checkouts more difficult than walking farther into the store. The smoothness of the shopping cart’s wheels correlate directly to the weight of produce in the cart, subliminal messages lurk within the music overhead and are printed on every wall, and that dashing/buxom stock-boy/stock-girl (possibly a CIA clandestine operative in training) will hone his/her skills at behavioral manipulation through techniques such as neuro-linguistic programming, and a few others which if we told you about, we would have to marginalize you.

Why? Glad you asked!

If you are strong-willed and sound-minded enough to purchase only what you need then you will enjoy sub-market prices (due to product suppliers voluntarily defraying a portion of their product’s cost to the consumer, in trade for collected data of consumer response to these cutting edge marketing ploys). However, if you are weak of will and mind you will undoubtedly leave with a shopping cart full of shit you really don’t need.

MikeD, May 22 2010

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       //you will undoubtedly leave with a shopping cart full of shit you really don’t need// - Baked - this already happens whenever I go supermarket shopping with my children.
hippo, May 24 2010
  

       I would pay a premium for a store not equipped with all of the marketing crap.
RayfordSteele, May 24 2010
  

       For some reason I can't pull up the MP3, [Bob. M.D.].   

       [hippo], If you bring your children to the PsyOps Grocery Shop, they will learn songs like "Cry until mommy buys what you want" and "Parents don't love you unless they buy name brands."
MikeD, May 24 2010
  

       (haven't voted on this one, just so you know)
21 Quest, May 24 2010
  

       this is just begging for brightly wrapped fishbones.
dentworth, May 25 2010
  

       “We’ve solved the famine problem — we discovered that products sold in famine-struck areas of the world were packaged in hunger-inducing packaging. This was what was causing the famine, all along, in those famine-struck areas."
Ian Tindale, May 25 2010
  

       //this is just begging for brightly wrapped fishbones//   

       I figured most on the HB would feel confident in thier ability to overcome such mind-fucks.   

       I would give it a shot. Just think of it as training for what is surely to come.
MikeD, May 25 2010
  

       Yeah, sorry about that Mike. I only downloaded it a few weeks ago. Must have been removed. I've deleted the link now but I recommend the book!
DrBob, May 25 2010
  

       I heard recently that we see on average, 5000 logos a day. I really hope that's not true, but I suspect it might be.
wagster, May 25 2010
  

       I'm going to guess I have about 1000 in my house, though not all are visible at once. That one guy made a page and sold the pixels for a dollar a pop and made a million bucks in a matter of weeks. I suspect patrons could invest in their own defense systems, though they'll pay through the nose for them. Warfare inside this place will only add to the exact nature of the beast.
daseva, May 25 2010
  

       //Warfare inside this place will only add to the exact nature of the beast//   

       True, but would you prefer entering the fray as a green FNG or a veteran soldier?   

       Combat is the most effective form of training.
MikeD, May 26 2010
  
      
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