h a l f b a k e r yOn the one hand, true. On the other hand, bollocks.
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I and my better half were playing a drunken game of darts, whilst half clothed. As I retrieved her darts from the board, I developed a habit of placing them in one of her bra cups, while I threw my volley. (Relax. They were plastic tipped)
As I saw this buxom young woman, half clothed with three
darts protruding up from her bra, I (sadly) thought of the HB.
The idea is a bra with three pockets sewn into the outside of one of the cups, in a manner in which they could hold three correlating darts in an upward and cleavial direction.
Any relatively risqué v-neck shirt should leave ample room for the flights. A must have for women who own their own set of darts.
darts...
http://www.bhuz.com...-advice-needed.html
[normzone, Jul 03 2009]
Some advice ...
http://www.gunthera...v/data/walkonth.htm
... for the nay sayers [MikeD, Jul 05 2009]
[link]
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Is there a double/triple entendre' here? Is not darts a sewing term? |
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(+)
-Darts term-
BUST: Hitting more than you needed in an x 01 game, and the darts don't count. |
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Read as; If she's willing to play strip darts then, chances are you don't have to play with yourself so...just forfeit already! |
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you're correct and its the right shape for a set of darts but why bar bra? I was thinking of something that would hold a glass of beer. |
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"Quiver Bra" (as in Quiver: That thing archers keep their arrows in) might have been better, and neatly brings together the worlds of darts and
double-entendres.
(A woman walked into a bar and asked for a double Entendre.
So he gave her one.) |
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Quiver Bra would be much better, [Hippo]. I would like to change the name, with your permission, of course. |
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I'm aghast. Quivering with aghastment, actually. Won't they risk
getting caught up in the lace? |
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Sounds like a neat idea, but I wonder about the risks of falling
asleep with darts in the quiver... not a very pleasant thought. Or
forgetting to take them out before driving somewhere and
getting into an accident with the darts there.... again, not a
pleasant thought. |
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//Won't they risk getting caught up in the lace?//
Titanium, shirley? |
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Hah norm, does that link make it baked? |
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[21 quest], I find myself defending my ideas, in response to your annotations, ever more frequently. Are you having a rough patch in your life? Or are you always this crotchety? |
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If you notice, the positions of the darts are such that the posterior ends are angled in a direction that is cephalic and slightly dorsal to a plane parallel to the coronal plane. This makes breast impalement likely only in the most unlikely of kinetics/mechanisms of injury. |
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However this idea, if implemented, would encourage the use of low cut shirts. Your opposition is indicative of an underlying issue. |
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I'm with one score 'n one on this one [MikeD]. I've also banned my girlfriend from using sharp knives in the kitchen in case she nods off while making my sandwiches. |
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While neutral on this idea, I'm with [Mike D] regarding [Quest]'s behaviour of late. |
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Don't take offense, [21], but it's evident that you spend a lot of time on the 'bakery these days and that you have become the judge known for low scores and critical commentary. |
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I personally don't care how you vote, I'm just worried about you. Email me if I can lend support. |
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Mike, including this idea I've commented negatively on exactly 3 of your ideas. Total. I've commented positively on 4 (well, 2 positive comments on one idea), and voted positively on many more that I didn't comment on at all. So what exactly is your point? I feel that I've been pretty fair to you, Mike. I just call 'em as I see 'em. Sorry if I've caused offense... I really don't mean to. |
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I abhor passing up an opportunity to give a good ribbing [21 quest]. |
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I've slept many nights with an unsheathed bayonet and a loaded M16 in my sleeping bag to no bad end. Not saying it's a good habit, but the benifit to risk ratio seemed acceptable at the time. |
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But; Is the infinitesimal risk of impalement really worth fish bones? |
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//I've slept many nights with an unsheathed bayonet and a
loaded M16 in my sleeping bag to no bad end// - I hope there
was some legitimate military purpose to this, and you're not
some kind of vigilante loner type... |
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//some legitimate military purpose to this// |
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It was my first deployment and I was scared shitless. |
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And yes, to the other, but that involves a Remington 870 mounted on the wall within arms reach of the bed and a first aid bag in the trunk that makes a medic's aid bag look like a box of band-aids. |
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You keep a Remington in arms reach, too? Well that me feel a little better about my Winchester rifle with the Bushnell scope... and the machete... and the knives... |
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btw, you make a compelling point, Mike. Fishbone rescinded. |
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// some kind of vigilante loner type // |
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You got something against vigilante loner types ? You gat a probalem with that ? You lookin' at us ? ARE YOU LOOKING AT US ? YOU WANT TO MAKE SOMETHING OF IT ? EH ? EH ? COME ON THEN ! YOU WANT SOME ? EH ? |
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Sorry, we thought you were looking at us in a funny way. |
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// Winchester rifle with the Bushnell scope. // |
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.455 Webley and Scott Mk. VI, S.M.L.E. No.1 Mk. 4. rechambered for 7.62 x 57 mm and sword bayonet, 3rd generation binocular night vision kit, and an 18th-century wakizashi (The katana's too long and clumsy for FISH) |
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Wakizashi? Good for CQB in confined situations, like in your house, but for more open areas the katana's longer blade is greatly appreciated by the sword-wielding professional. Persoanlly, I'm more of a brute force, hack-and-slash kinda guy, hence the machete and dozens of knives on my bedside table. The rifle's for picking off fleeing survivors and would-be carjackers through my bedroom window, which has an unobstructed view of the street for several blocks in every direction. |
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// brute force, hack-and-slash kinda guy // |
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May we commend to you the claymore ? (the double-edged, double handed Scots sword, not the pad mine - although those are neat too). Or the classic Viking/Saxon long-hafted battle axe, or perhaps the Lochaber Axe; if there is sufficent room to swing it, a most effective bit of kit. |
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What are these "survivors" of whom you speak ? Your words are strange to us, hu-mon ..... |
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Ah, I see I was a bit unclear. By 'survivors' I was referring to the few burglars that run away when their buddies start getting slaughtered by the angry home-owner. I hack the first to enter to bits, then calmly adjust the windage and elevation on my scope, take aim, and pick off the dead guys' fleeing buddies. |
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As to the claymore... very appealing, but not enough room to swing it in the house. The blade's longer than the width of the corridor outside my bedroom. Hence the machete. My uncle Dave used to keep a sword bayonet under the seat in his car and a medieval halberd by his bed, along with an English broadsword and a loaded crossbow. |
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<smugness> Ahh yes, but do you also have body armour and atropine injectors, in case your home is invaded by a squad of trained operatives armed with assault rifles and neurotoxins? <s/> |
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//.455 Webley and Scott Mk. VI, S.M.L.E. No.1 Mk. 4. rechambered for 7.62 x 57 mm // |
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Most would try to make it bigger, not smaller. I guess a man with NVGs needs not compensate. |
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(I also keep a cleaver in the door compartment of my caprice, since we are all coming out of the vigilante/paranoia closet) |
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// body armour and atropine injectors // |
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Yes. And a current issue NATO full-face respirator with spare cartridges, the full NCB bunny suit, and the decontam kit. |
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The attic is stuffed with canned food, bottled water, and back copies of Playboy. |
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// needs not compensate // |
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The only compensator we need is on the muzzle of the varichoked 8-shot pump action Mossberg with the laser target designator we keep as a backup. |
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// out of the ... closet // |
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We were never in the closet. In fact. we cannot get in the closet, because it's packed from floor to ceiling with stores. That's why we keep the L3 and the LAAW-80's under the bed - the closet's fuill. |
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[Warning! Shameless self promotion. Readers discretion advised.] |
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We should all meet up and pool our resources post apocalypse. I recommend The Analogue Half Bakery. |
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That will be easy, because we'll be the only ones left ... |
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This started as a harmless idea about storing darts, and has drifted into the somewhat deeper waters of post-apocalyptic survivalism. Is this supposed to happen ? |
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// Ahh yes, but do you also have body armour and atropine injectors, in case your home is invaded by a squad of trained operatives armed with assault rifles and neurotoxins?// |
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Only if you count a 2-ply kevlar sweater as armor ;D |
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And I don't have atropine (they found and confiscated my stash when I was discharged) but I have a charcoal-lined NBC suit and a full-face respirator that so effectively filters incoming air that it even blocks odors (NATO can't say the same) and I have an attic-full of nonperishable canned foodstuffs, rainwater collectors with filters and a large supply of iodine tablets, AND back issues of Playbody, Penthouse, Maxim, and FHM. |
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And yes, it's supposed to happen, and yes, Halfbakers will be the only ones left. |
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<surreptitiously passes laminated membership badge under table to [21Quest]> |
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//laminated membership badge// |
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Cross cross-dressing survivalists ? |
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<surreptitiously slips badge into thigh cargo pocket alongside the spare magazines for the Ruger .25 Auto pistol on my ankle> |
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So, not a battery-powered low-frequency vibrating bra for
creating resonant oscillations? I'm relieved and disappointed
in equal measure. |
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Martian, that's what yer all speaking, Martian. Haven't
had a clue what's been said since [hippo] felt
"honored". Martian... |
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