Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Recirculating rats

Like what the other guy said but with rats
  [vote for,

Rats like being in the walls of houses and they radiate heat. Rats appear to ‘flow’ much like fluids. They would flow round and round in a minimalist wire frame corridor-like cage. For extra heat make them go faster by putting a weasel in the conduit. Or maybe just a white hot metal ball from the neighbours heating system..yes that should keep them on their toes

Your bed is also a wire frame mesh like the foil of an electric razor, and it’s jam-packed with rats connected to the main supply. They warm it but also nibble your legs clean of hairs overnight. Don’t turn over on your front though.

Feed with scraps. The little poops falls in a tray underneath.

Moderately noisy. Somewhere between chains and lapping mercury.

DDRopDeadly, Jan 24 2018

HP lovecraft https://en.wikipedi...e_Rats_in_the_Walls
[not_morrison_rm, Jan 29 2018]


       We presume that you are aware of the fact that rats and mice urinate continuously ... ?
8th of 7, Jan 24 2018

       well I never said it was a nice house.. anyhow how nice do grinding metal balls smell..?
DDRopDeadly, Jan 24 2018

       Anyway, I’m rethinking this a piped rat suit, their fur would be good insulation and it would be acceptable to the anti- fur people ‘cos still alive
DDRopDeadly, Jan 24 2018

       Put the rat suit up. I'll bun it.   

       Long as it doesn't hurt the little bastards.
doctorremulac3, Jan 24 2018

       Can I recommend moles instead? They have a natural affinity with long, twisting passages. They're also a lot more solidly built than a rat - a mole is basically a cylindrical brick covered in fur - which means they'll have a higher heat capacity.   

       A quick calculation suggests that a cylindrical pipe can be filled to about 85% volume with moles (79% if you allow for lung volume), but only 76% (or 70% allowing for lung volume) with rats.   

       Besides thermal mass, you also have to worry about heat transfer. In that respect, moles and rats are very roughly the same. If you want rapid heating (as opposed to gradual warming), you might want to consider naked mole rats. Not only are they naked (facilitating heat transfer), but they combine the words "mole" and "rat", which ought to keep everyone happy.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 24 2018

       Has this idea been ratified?
Ian Tindale, Jan 24 2018

       thankyou kindly [doc ]- but my audacity is all spent   

       [MB] moles are lovely, but what are their flow characteristics.. . eg laminar flow etc. . ? I’ve never seen them swarm, which is not to say they don’t. As for naked mole rats - I think there’s a good reason they stay out of sight..
DDRopDeadly, Jan 24 2018

       // I’ve never seen them swarm, //   

       Oh, but they do. Underground. Specifically, under [MB]'s croquet lawn.
8th of 7, Jan 24 2018

       Gerbils would be more suitabler.
Ian Tindale, Jan 24 2018

       // I’ve never seen them swarm,// They would definitely swarm if crammed end-to-end in a suitable duct. As [8th] alluded to, I have many moles available for experimentation.   

       For heating larger spaces, may I suggest Shitzus?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 24 2018

       How many moles of moles?
RayfordSteele, Jan 24 2018

       That depends on the species, gender, and age of the mole.   

       However, should you wish to investigate, [MB] has a special apparatus which causes an average mole to occupy 22.4 litres at STP, in the form of a vapour of course.   

       Since the device is subject to a patent application, and a number of lawsuits from animal welfare organizations, all we can tell you is that both microwaves, compressed air, and a vacuum chamber are involved.   

       // Shih Tzus //   

       The idea is to provide subtle warmth, not induce immediate heatstroke.
8th of 7, Jan 30 2018

       Aren't insects, for their size, the strongest ? They'd probably produce the most heat per unit of mass.
FlyingToaster, Jan 30 2018

       M'Lud Buchanan or [bs] will know, but IWRC insects are poikilothermic, so no. The only heat they generate is opportunistic, as a secondary effect of muscle activity.   

       They probably don't indulge in mitochondrial thermogenesis either.
8th of 7, Jan 30 2018

       [8th], we're old friends - there's no need for "m'lud". A simple "your lordship" will be fine in private.   

       As to poikilothermism - most human body heat is also produced by muscle (I think). It's just that we adjust our rate of heat loss (and shiver, if necessary) to control our temperature.   

       Insects might be quite good at this.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 30 2018

       Insects require a bit of lounging around in the sun of a morn, before they have the will to go about. Sounds quite civilised to me.
Ian Tindale, Jan 30 2018

       You're deducing that from secondary sources - you're from newham, and the nearest you've ever been to seeing the sun is a particular form of low-grade lavatory paper retailed by newsagents.   

       Newham is renowned as The Place Where The Sun Doth Not Shine ...
8th of 7, Jan 30 2018

       I very much doubt that. Just show me what the sun is, and I’ll disagree with you.
Ian Tindale, Jan 30 2018

       Umm, equip one of the rats with one of them Viking sun-stones?
not_morrison_rm, Jan 31 2018

       //M'Lud Buchanan or [bs] will know, but IWRC insects are poikilothermic, so no.//   

       As far as I can tell, the whole poikiothermism thing is one of those ESTABLISHED FACTS. Which is science speak for "we haven't checked carefully, recently or at all in most cases". To me that's nature waving a great big neon sign reading "you did a few reasonable experiments in the 50's, generalized a bit, hand-waved wrote the textbook, got funded for something else and died leaving behind an absurdly simplified model". Nature has brevity issues.   

       That everything with mitochondria expresses multiple uncoupling proteins, plants, fish insects, the lot, suggests there are several roles for uncoupling and that thermogenesis is a common trick.* Expect discoveries of various poikiotherms showing local heating around this or that tissue when they actually check. Insects scuttling around at 4c is deeply suspicious, as are most fish.   

       //As to poikilothermism - most human body heat is also produced by muscle (I think). It's just that we adjust our rate of heat loss (and shiver, if necessary) to control our temperature.//   

       Muscles are adapted NOT to make heat. They have a 20- 30 fold range from rest to max work rate, if they got it wrong they'd cook, they have very tightly controlled ion leak rates, which is why you have to cheat them into thinking they're doing real work by shivering. The brain is a big generator, but can't be considered alone, it's in a couple of nested metabolic cycles: ((neurons<>glia) <>liver). The boss of resting heat generation is the liver. Even in exercise, all the anaerobic glucose metabolism in muscle has to be dealt with oxidatively (i.e. with heat) in the liver (and kidneys, a bit).   

       *The tricks will probably turn out to be 1. low level proton uncoupling for futile cycling and heat generation 2. low level proton uncoupling to change the pH to membrane potential gradient for the purposes of solubilizing matrix calcium phosphate and accelerating the Kreb's cycle. 3. Linked proton/K+ uncoupling with a substrate burning brake system to mothball mitochondria in energy surplus periods 4. Everything uncoupling for death.
bs0u0155, Jan 31 2018

       We wish to express our sincere appreciation for your detailed, erudite and comprehensive - yet oddly uninformative - answer.   

       Out of interest, how many years* of lavish research funding would you need to whittle it down to a choice of "Yes" or "No" ? After all, there might be a Nobel Prize lurking in there somewhere.   

       *To the nearest decade.   

       // Insects scuttling around at 4c is deeply suspicious, as are most fish. //   

       Fish scuttling round are suspicious at any temperature.
8th of 7, Jan 31 2018

       Your poikiotherm [sic] has dropped a lambda, and a stray apostrophe has got lodged in poor Krebs.
pertinax, Jan 31 2018

       //detailed, erudite and comprehensive - yet oddly uninformative - answer.//   

       I see that I'm approaching the academic ideal. If we're quick, we can get another round of G&T in while they finish filling that table with wine. I've got some seriously comprehensive arguments as to why we now know an awful lot less than we thought about membranes. Should take us through to dinner where I thought we could undermine a couple of people's whole PhD projects.
bs0u0155, Jan 31 2018

       //Muscles are adapted NOT to make heat...[t]he boss of resting heat generation is the liver. // Ah, but perhaps you're unaware of my most recent groundbreaking discovery: the liver is actually an enormous non-contractile muscle.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 31 2018


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