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Religious Olympics

God help us!
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This would be an international event, in which religions, rather than countries, competed. I envisage a somewhat light hearted series of events, rather along the lines of the ever popular `It's a Knockout'.

The Catholics would be obvious favourites for the drinking competitions, whereas the Buddhists would play their joker in the combat event. The chanting marathon would be hotly contested between the Muslims and the Pagans.

Drugs testing would not take place, thus giving the Rastafarians a fair crack of the whip.

Other suggestions for events would be welcome.

Mickey the Fish, Nov 22 2000

A story on 'Yogic Flight'. http://www.straight...lassics/a4_136.html
A description of the "Fourth Annual Continental Yogic Flying Competition" [StarChaser, Nov 22 2000, last modified Oct 17 2004]


       Not if this LDS gets hold of the last part going over the fence! Hold on Billy Bob Jones!!!
reensure, Nov 22 2000

       The followers of the old Norse gods are strongly fancied in the hammer throwing.
Mickey the Fish, Nov 23 2000

       ...and the Stylites would not be allowed to compete in the Pole Vault or the High Board Diving.
DrBob, Nov 23 2000

       I and two others created our -own- religion, thank you very much. I'm a demi-god *grin*
Detly, Nov 23 2000

       Drug testing *would* take place, as a competitive event. How much peyote can the reigning shaman champ ingest?
hello_c, Nov 27 2000

       Surely not enough to beat the reigning champion cocaine snorter, Krishna?
Lemon, Nov 27 2000

       Drop out and tune in soon to see!
hello_c, Nov 27 2000

       the Prayer and Divine Intervention categories are Baked. I've read all about these Olympics. In 1 Kings, Yahweh through Elijah competes against Baal through 450 priests....to see who can actually set an altar on fire. Baal got the silver and Yahweh got the gold in that face off. Then there was the sling shot competition....David got the gold in that one. I seem to recall a fish catching competition and a plague calling competition too..... These would be interesting in modern times though. I suggest putting the Baptists against the Catholics and the Pentacostals against the Mormons....could be interesting.
Susen, Feb 10 2001

       The heptathlon where each side visits seven plagues on the other to try to get them to let their people cross the finish line.   

       Perhaps also a televangelism section run over the course of the entire games to see which religion gets the most gold.
sirrobin, Feb 11 2001

       If these "Olympics" were televised, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints could provide the commercials.
Amishman35, Feb 16 2001

       All medals would be provided by the Vatican, which would further ensure that each medal winner felt extremely guilty upon receipt.
1percent, Mar 26 2001

       ...and all sponsered by McDonalds (the anti-christ - according to Bill Hicks, at least).
lubbit, Mar 27 2001

       Will the Scientologists be there? (Braces for site shutdown)
thumbwax, Mar 27 2001

       Of course they will. Someone's got to charge huge fees for admission.
1percent, Mar 28 2001

       Would the programs be Chick Tracts?
centauri, Mar 29 2001

       I suppose the judges would have to be agnostics, and the token crowd of demonstratos would be atheistic scientists?
RayfordSteele, Feb 23 2002

       ....and the two finalists for the Banging-Your-Head- Against-The-Holy-Brick-Wall event are the Islamic Fundamentalists and the Conservative Jews. This one is a marathon contest to take place over a number of centuries....
notripe, Feb 23 2002

       I'm sure The Goodies did a sketch on this...
simonj, Jul 25 2004

       The Religious Olympics already takes place in Jerusalem, replete with rifle and stone-throwing events.
disbomber, Apr 10 2005

       The US will have a pretty good advantage in blowing up the abortion clinic and shoot the doctor competitions. Maybe an edge with snake-handling too.
lowbot, Apr 10 2005

       It doesn't matter where in the world the events take place, they must be politicaly correct. Happy Holidays.
Grandpa Rhd, Dec 16 2005

       Any Idea how many religions are out there? This would take weeks to finish, maybe months. I would loose interest after the first week.
krigre55, Dec 10 2007


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