The spasm-wracked bodies of those inhabited by demons were in the past relieved as swiftly as possible from malign Satanic parasites, who were in turn sent back to the endless fires. What a waste.

Those who want to work out but simply lack the willpower (that's right, little man) can now at last be offered the chance to enjoy a fully-supervised 'reverse exorcism', in which spirits of darkness will be invoked and allowed to enter and take full control over them, for a period not exceeding one hour.

The thrashing bodies of the hosts will be lashed to our spiritually reinforced multigym apparatus, which allows for the safe venting of unholy power.

What could be more convenient? Step into the pentangle, a quick ritual (you may listen to your iPod during the ritual) , your mind is completely lost (temporarily) , and then returned (as if you had never left) to your sweat-drenched, exhausted body under the close supervision of our trained pastors, rabbis, candomble or voodoo priestesses, all of whom are fully qualified fitness instructors.

Our instructors guarantee a deep routine which works all major muscle groups.

Clients with respiratory, cardiac, Presbyterian or other conditions should read our Terms and Conditions before applying.