Demonic possession has a bad
We aim to change all that.
The spasm-wracked bodies of those
inhabited by demons were in the past
relieved as swiftly as possible from
Satanic parasites, who were in turn sent
back to the endless fires. What a waste.
Those who want
to work out but simply
lack the willpower (that's right, little man)
can now at last be offered the chance to
enjoy a fully-supervised 'reverse
exorcism', in which spirits of darkness
be invoked and allowed to enter and take
full control over them, for a period not
exceeding one hour.
The thrashing bodies of the hosts will be
lashed to our spiritually reinforced
multigym apparatus, which allows for the
safe venting of unholy power.
What could be more convenient? Step
the pentangle, a quick ritual (you may
listen to your iPod during the ritual) ,
mind is completely lost (temporarily) ,
then returned (as if you had never left) to
your sweat-drenched, exhausted body
under the close supervision of our
pastors, rabbis, candomble or voodoo
priestesses, all of whom are fully
Our instructors guarantee a deep routine
which works all major muscle groups.
Clients with respiratory, cardiac,
Presbyterian or other conditions should
read our Terms and Conditions before