Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Replace "light" with "sausages" and this may work...

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Schrodinger's Duke of York

The need to recruit quantum physicists as tacticians
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The movement of the Duke of York's men, when covered by the fog of war, results in 10,000 men who are both up and down any given hill at any given time. This could yield to black box cat-based military equipment to enhance the strategic side of warfare. The required quantum physicists could be conscripted or recruited.
Aristotle, Jun 20 2001

The Grand Old Duke of York http://www.bbc.co.u...ukeofyorkfull.shtml
A classic treaty on uncertainty in times before Newtonian physics and the adoption of khaki battle-dress for English soldiers. [Aristotle, Jun 20 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

A Laboratory of Monte Carlo Methods http://www.comcen-1.nsk.su/mixa/
A reference to what Peter Sealy suggested was a match. [Aristotle, Jun 20 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

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       "God does not play at dice with my regiment!"   

       Loonies have been milking the Eldridge/Philadelphia experiment for decades now. John Preston (pseud?) wrote a supposedly factual series of books about continuing time travel experiments at a lab in Montauk, New Jersey, in which the brave time travelers raided/will raid the future in search of a golden statue or something. Execrable writing. And I believe old Albert Bielek is still popping up with tales of his pivotal role in the original Eldridge affair.
Dog Ed, Jun 21 2001
  

       I mean like, what's with all this war crap man. Like, why don't we all just learn to love each other. 10 000 beautiful people of unspecified gender, getting in the love vibe on a hill man. Like, when they were up they were uppers, when they were down it was a bummer, and when they were only half way up they had another toke. Like, real mind freak man.
Ivy, Jun 21 2001
  

       Maybe the Grand Old Duke dropped out, turned on and became the Fool on the Hill.
Aristotle, Jun 21 2001
  

       Was this the same hill on which Jack had his accident whilst fetching water? I have heard rumours that this was faked in order to avoid conscription into the Duke Of York's army.
-alx, Jun 21 2001
  

       UnaBubba: Surely a cheaper and more effective way of making a ship (etc) disappear would be to have cameras on one side of the ship (the side facing away from the enemy) and filming whats there, and displaying this on giant screens on the side of the ship you want to hide?
Pallex, Jun 21 2001
  

       I think it was intended to be an experiment to see what happened. The alleged disappearance was the unexpected result, not the intentional outcome.
Aristotle, Jun 21 2001
  

       The problem with trying to hide spmething with cameras, mirrors ,prisms etc. is that you can only hide half of the sides of an object and the equiptment may well be visable.   

       I thought the idea was not to make something disapear though, just to get twice as many troops. There is an easier way than using quantum physicists though, just use algebra:- a=1 b=1 a=b ab=b squared ab-a squared=b squred -a squared a(b-a)=(a-b)(a+b) cancel and we get: a=a+b so 1=1+1 or 1=2 so the grand old duke of york now has 20,000 men
RobertKidney, Jun 21 2001
  

       I believe the story has it that the original intent of the "Philadelphia Experiment" was to render the ship radar invisible. The supposed time travel was an unexpected side effect of the technology used.
phoenix, Jun 21 2001
  

       RobertKidney: Ah, so you are saying that because the troops are potentially both up and down the down the hill you effectively have double the troops. I had a feeling that quantum physics and military strategy would find some synergy.   

       By the right, change paradigm!
Aristotle, Jun 21 2001
  

       Ahh - in fact, because of Heiseberg's uncertainty principle, for a certain time T, proportional to energy * planck's constant, you don't actually know how many troups there are!
goff, Jun 26 2001
  

       um...   

       what's so strange about DoY's 10,000?   

       "And when they're up they're up, and when they're down they're down, and when they're only halfway up, they're neither up nor down"   

       sounds like a foregone conclusion to me...
Urania, Sep 15 2001
  

       Obivously this isn't the current Duke of York we're discussing ...
arghblah, Oct 30 2001
  

       Yes. Didn't he just leave the Armed Forces? Otherwise, I'd be all for putting him in a box and eigenstating him. (Oh, if I only I could collapse the wave function by the powers of imagination.)
Guy Fox, Oct 30 2001
  

       If this army was made up of 10,000 ‘My son Johns’ (as in Diddle diddle dumpling), then the army could surely save money by only having to buy one shoe for each soldier. The shoe would simultaneously be on both the left foot and the right foot.
stupop, Jun 11 2002
  

       You're thinking of the Shoe Raffia's Duke of York
thumbwax, Jun 11 2002
  

       The Duke of Albany, shirley?
DrCurry, Nov 20 2002
  

       excellent, slopjonb37
theircompetitor, Jan 02 2004
  

       The Grand Old Duke of York, he had 10000 men...but Max Clifford managed to keep it out of the tabloids for a fat retainer.
And no, the fat retainer wasn't called Jeeves.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Aug 15 2005
  
      
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