Begin by teaching your snails how to read.

This is accomplished using the reward and punishment system developed by the Russian psychologist Ivan Pavlov. Snails are trained using this method to negotiate a series of obstacles, which form a pathway, punctuated by loops and turns. Each of the many snails learns a different path with a tasty reward at the end of the lesson. Deviations on the journey are punished by tiny harmless electric shocks that the snails learn to avoid.

Once you are satisfied that your snails can follow their path without prompting, the second part begins.

The diet of the snails is now altered so that their slime trail produces a colour, with each snail producing a slightly different hue. Everything is now ready to create the Koans.

Random batches of snails are simultaneously released unto a white surface where they begin to follow their pre-learned path, leaving distinct coloured trails behind them.

This trail now reveals itself to be a series of words in script style, for each snail has in fact learned how to spell out its own individual word.

You may now use your snails to create Koans or generate random poetry, or simply to make images of script patterns.

Snails suffer no ill effects during the process of learning how to read and write.

Under development: Flies that do calculus, and operatic spiders.