Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Speeding Train Brawl

Just like in the movies.
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The STB arena is an actual train cart. Mounted on actuators, it emulates the motions of a real train chugging down the tracks; the tremors, lurches, swaying, jerking, and occasional tilting to emulate the curving track. High-powered fans provide the draught.

At random intervals, a ramp would sweep low over the cart, forcing both contestants to duck or drop and lay prostrate until it passes. This would be the tunnel, inevitable in any traintop brawl.

The goal is, of course, to throw your opponent off the train. There would be plenty of handholds on the sides that contestants can grab and hold on to, because the "holding on with feet dragging on the ground" is a staple of any good speeding train brawl, and the opponent hasn't officially been thrown off the train as long as (s)he's holding onto the cart.

Plenty of padding to prevent injuries, of course.

A Biwing Plane Brawl version is also available.

Veho, Apr 22 2009

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       Is there a less complicated but more alarming "South Korean Corridor Hammer Mass Brawl" version?
calum, Apr 22 2009
  

       This is loco faux show you know.   

       Why not make this a small kiddie-scale rollercoaster ride? Over a pool. It would be perfect for American Gladiators.   

       I am trying to think of movie examples of brawls on moving rollercoasters. I cannot think of any where the hero jumps free of the descending rollercoaster then, while falling, kicks his opponent to obtain some lift, ultimately falling back into the rollercoater in a different car. But that should happen too.
bungston, Apr 22 2009
  

       O ooh, I like. Make sure that the tunnel entrances are appropriately croissant shaped =+).
Spaceman Spiff, Apr 25 2009
  

       We expect these trains to be of the traditional coal or wood-fired variety for cinematic verisimilitude, but will there be a "Bullet Train" version with accompanying high speeds and presumable loss of hair pieces and loosely fastened clothing?
jurist, Apr 25 2009
  

       Or you could set up an actual track, say around a NASCAR speedway...
smendler, Apr 18 2016
  
      
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