Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The Swinging Action Clock

Halftime, swap partners!
 
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Roland reached, with an outstretched finger, to move on the thick, pinkish, sculptured hour hand on The Swinging Action Clock, to hasten the onset of the "bitching hour".

Designed for those who stray together, this delightful piece of practical home decoration was fitted with a high resolution screen in its face, displaying lewd scenes of group debauchery continuously, for the prurient enjoyment of passers-by.

Sound options include optional small grunts or yelps every second, "Uh-huh", "Harder!" or "YES!" every minute and passionate moans on the quarter hour. A range of screaming celebrity orgasm tracks ring out the hours.

Roland glanced again at the clock... nearly 9pm... grinned wickedly; adjusted his skimpy, see-through apron; dipped a jiggling jelly vibrator in a jug of martinis (Shaken, not stirred) and toddled off toward the recently waterproofed lounge room and all of the action.

UnaBubba, May 01 2012

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