Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Trouser bib

Rapid-deployment sporran
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Ever found after washing your hands at a groin-level basin to find that the over-enthusiastic tap has launched water at your light-coloured leg-wear, and the world now thinks you've had an embarrassing trouser incident? *

The Trouser Bib comes in a variety of designs, two of which are described here. The first takes the form of a roller-blind mechanism, worn as a belt. A swift tug unravels the bib, to cover the vulnerable area. A second tug retracts the bib.

The second is a modified sporran, with a radial leaf-shutter-like mechanism. Here, a simple twist deploys the crotch umbrella. A second twist retracts.

Groinal moistness is avoided, and hilarity does not ensue.

* I have.

AbsintheWithoutLeave, Sep 23 2010

Inuit loophole for sealskin sporrans http://www.bbc.co.u...ds-islands-11373000
You can't make this stuff up ... [8th of 7, Sep 23 2010]

[link]






       Apart from the hilarity of wearing a sporran with trousers, of course.   

       If you're worried, splash some water on your hip as camoflouge.   

       [ ]
gisho, Sep 23 2010
  

       Needs more lasers.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 23 2010
  

       Needs more pyrotechnics. "Thermite-based Instantaneous Trouser Drier".
8th of 7, Sep 23 2010
  

       We think you should rephrase that as "But that's a risk I'm willing for you to take on my behalf."
8th of 7, Sep 23 2010
  

       Learn not to urinate upon your hands?
infidel, Sep 23 2010
  

       //Learn not to urinate upon your hands?//   

       Won't help if, say, you took a dump, wiped, and _oops_-- >finger-through-the-paper.< You wash your hands in the same position, don't you, for #1 or #2?   

       Bun, for the umbrella alone...and for the sporran.
Boomershine, Sep 23 2010
  

       Sporrans are an endangered species ... <link>
8th of 7, Sep 23 2010
  

       Well, then, we'd best get on with it.
Boomershine, Sep 23 2010
  

       //Needs more pyrotechnics.// A stylish gent, strolling along the boulevard while idly deploying and retracting the crotch umbrella, in the manner of Maurice Chevalier twiddling a cane, will be *quite* enough thank you kindly.
mouseposture, Sep 23 2010
  

       //It also happens while washing dishes//
I had to ask Mrs AWOL to explain what that was.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Sep 24 2010
  
      
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