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One of the interesting features of Levis jeans is the label on the back that informs anyone behind you what size your waist is. I propose a similar informative readout for sweatpants, track suits, and other elastic-waisted garments.
This spring-loaded gauge, incorporated into the back of the waistband,
has an easy-to-read circular dial visible to anyone who happens to glance at you lumbar region. A string (similar to a draw string, but with nothing to tie in front) loops out from the gauge and around your waist inside the waistband. As you stretch or contract the elastic of the waistband, the gauge pays out or retracts the string. Once the garment is settled comfortably about your middle, the dial accurately reflects your abdominal circumference.
For vain people special alternate calibrations are available, including the 90% (reports nine tenths of your actual waist-size), and the Minus 5 (subtracts 5 inches).
||"No hon, I said you were a 'perfect 10', not a 'size 10.'"
||The automatic "wide load" sign, and "lying about wide load" sign.