Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Vuvuzela Contests

Football (Soccer) without the ball
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One of the notable features of the recent World Cup football (Soccer) games was the contest between the many Vuvuzela players who came to the games to compete with their instruments accompanied by football fans and television audiences. Often during the games, the Vuvuzela players were even more noticeable then the football players who were running around the field trying to score points but unable to do so. The Vuvuzela players had no problem. They played and played to the wonderment of all.

It is now obvious, that Vuvuzela contests are here to stay, being a fundamental part of the group activity now called football. While many now believe that a football match will no longer be complete unless accompanied by Vuvuzela players competing with their instruments, I suggest that perhaps the attraction is not the football match itself with players running around the field, but the Vuvuzela players in combination with a stadium of fans that is the real attraction . The Vuvuzela players competing for attention and creative sounds may be why we are interested in attending a football contest, the sounds of the Vuvuzela players creating the real and lasting memories of a football match.

Football games are becoming more and more expensive to attend. This is because of the astronomical costs of players, their managers, coaches, etc. If the game can be played without them, there would be tremendous savings to all fans of the game. By reducing enterance fees, these savings could help stimulate the economy, reduce national and personal debt and pay for better health care and schooling for the kids. They could even be used to buy a new car.

What it proposed here is a football-less game where only fans and Vuvuzela players come to the stadium , where they will sit, stand, shout and carry on while Vuvuzela players compete with each other for several hours. There will be no need for high-priced football players their coaches, equipment, referees, etc since the game will consist entirely of the fans and players.

Perhaps, one or more Vuvuzela players will be so much better than the others, that a prize of some sort could be awarded at the end of the session; perhaps a golden horn.

el dueno

el dueno, Jul 23 2010

Sonata for Vuvuzela in Bb http://9gag.com/full/26387
[Dub, Jul 25 2010]

Vuvuzela hunts Vuvuzela_20hunts
Pile up your pastry here. [8th of 7, Jul 26 2010]

[link]






       Perhaps vuvuzela players could be hunted for sport, using weapons of the hunter's choice - for example, a General Electric M134 Minigun discharging 7.62 x 51mm ammunition at the rate of 4000 - 6000 rounds per minute, since this is rather less irritating and far more socially acceptable than a vuvuzuela.
8th of 7, Jul 23 2010
  

       I would very much like to give a bun to [8th of 7]'s idea, it seems like a far more sensible suggestion.
kaz, Jul 24 2010
  

       I disagree heartily with part of this--specifically, the use of the word "players". "Dronists", "buzztards" and "spitters" would be acceptable substitutes, as would any string of random obscenities.   

       Thank you.
baconbrain, Jul 24 2010
  

       "buzztards". I like it.
jutta, Jul 24 2010
  

       During college, the instrument of choice during basketball games, which were conducted inside a converted tin WW1 airplane hanger, was the wooden block set. Needless to say, we had a strong homecourt advantage.
RayfordSteele, Jul 24 2010
  

       yes [8th] please do post your idea!! bunnage awaits you!
xandram, Jul 25 2010
  

       why all the bones ?   

       This is obviously stage 1: get them all in an enclosed space with minimal exits. Now bring out the vuvuzela-seeking missiles.
FlyingToaster, Jul 26 2010
  

       [FlyingToaster]: I don't think they're boning the idea, I think they're boning the existence of the vuvuzela and the recent destruction of the soundtrack of the World Cup by an annoying, constant BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ....
Cedar Park, Jul 26 2010
  
      
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