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Who Do You Think You Are?

(Redux) No, not that. This is different.
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In movie after movie, we have seen our hero, or the plucky sidekick, get bumped on the noggin only to wake up to discover they have amnesia. Haven't you ever wondered what you could do if this was to happen to you? Now, with the handy "Who Do You Think You Are?" Personal Memory Restoration Kit, the road to total recovery becomes a breeze.

This do-it-yourself kit will consist of photographs, voice recordings, notarized documents, treasured items, and most importantly, since the sense of smell has been proven to be the strongest trigger for memory, fragrances and aromas each specifically designed to elicit deep-seated memories.

The tasteful, hermetically-sealed, authentic woodgrain kit is easy to install in any bedroom, bathroom, or kitchen. But wait! With a special mounting bracket you can even put one in the trunk of your car! The kit's backlit "In Case of Memory Loss, Break Glass" label is easily visible day or night, and you'll actually be bumping your head on purpose just to have an excuse to pop the kit open so you can rub the shreds of your woobie against your face while listening to The Kingsmen sing "Louie, Louie", and inhaling Vicks VapoRub and Borax Hand Soap, and be serenely bathed in memories of simpler times.

Canuck, May 27 2006

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       i thought a tattoo with my name and D.O.B. on it would be simple enough. then, instead on carrying around a packet, you would find your house and family and go from there.
tcarson, May 27 2006
  

       If films have taught me nothing else, it's that all you need is a laser pen with a bank account number on it, sewn into your shoulder.
hidden truths, May 27 2006
  

       Kurt Vonnegut did this in the Sirens of Titan.
ldischler, May 27 2006
  

       this can't be my bedroom, its a feckin' mess.
po, May 27 2006
  

       I think if you're hit hard enough to cause amnesia, the lack of memory will probably be the least of your problems.
wagster, May 27 2006
  

       I'll try to remember that.
baconbrain, May 27 2006
  

       Ah! Thanks [po], I knew I put it down somewhere.
moomintroll, May 27 2006
  

       If you awaken with a feeling you are not sure who or where you are, wouldn't you begin to explore your surroundings for clues? Then if you stumble into a room that has a box on the wall marked in glowing letters "In Case Of Memory Loss, Break Glass" would you not be the least bit interested in checking it out? I can't imagine someone just sitting there waiting for something to happen.
Canuck, May 28 2006
  

       this is assuming that you are in your house or car at time of memory loss. what if you're out in the middle the woods?
tcarson, May 28 2006
  

       What if you awaken and everything is in a foreign language?   

       Maybe a universal "no" (Ø) plot sign?
reensure, May 28 2006
  

       ØØØ. ØØ ØØØØØ ØØ Ø ØØØ ØØØØ ØØØØ [ØØØØØØØØ].
wagster, May 28 2006
  

       [Ø]
skinflaps, May 28 2006
  

       All valid points, but let's look at the bigger picture. I know a kit like this can't guarantee instant results, but wouldn't it be worthwhile to try? I mean, what have you got to lose?   

       Even if you are out in the middle of the woods, or just to the right of the middle of the woods, or in the Gobi desert, or standing on the corner waiting for a bus, and you get a bump on the head that triggers amnesia, don't you think the authorities would find your ID? Wouldn't every attempt be made to help you recover your identity? You could put a card in your wallet stating you have a kit at home.   

       And I guess if you are worried about being abducted by memory-erasing aliens, you could keep a miniature version of the kit in your shoe (but I'm not sure how you'd tell yourself to look there).
Canuck, May 29 2006
  
      
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