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hospital patient screener

Mechanized device to analyze patients breath to triage patients.
  (+3, -14)(+3, -14)
(+3, -14)
  [vote for,

Idea is a hand-held, breathe-in device to determine priority of patient problems in the emergency room.

Besides doing the normal diagnostic things, like ability to breath, other obvious maladies, like unconsciousness, this unit would be linked to an HPLC (don't ask) that would identify know drug metabolites in the patients bloodstream, and would identify the FREQUENT FLIERS.

These are the ppl that come to emerg. rooms just for their drug fix. These 'patients' would be put on the 6 hour rotation. They will give up and leave. If not a re-hab buss will take them where they need to go.

The unit will identify drunk ppl as well, allow staff to give them some food, while they sober up. Allows for better care, and some will give up and leave.

Heavily infectious ppl will be id'd quickly and removed from general population and cared for.

The rest of the injured ppl will have to wait much less time, and ppl will be less likely to lie about the drugs they are taking, and will get better care.

Additionally. lie detectors, can be used for the more stubborn patients. This will identify the munchauser syndrome parents, other child abusers, and the feining illness for attention ppl with waaaaaay too much health insurance.

prodigalaunt, Sep 28 2006

Wikipedia: HPLC http://en.wikipedia...quid_chromatography
Chemical detector thingy. [jutta, Sep 28 2006]

Breath test for H. Pylori http://www.webmd.co...problems/hw1531.asp
[Klaatu, Oct 05 2006]


       Been watching Grey's Anatomy lately? I have to ask, what's an HPLC ? High Probability of being an unLikely deviCe ?
normzone, Sep 28 2006

       See link.   

       How much of what this magic apparatus finds would be news to a mildly exprienced front desk person after ten seconds of looking at or talking to a new patient?
jutta, Sep 28 2006

       I like the idea but I don't think you took it far enough They are developing sniffing technology to aid in the detection of explosives at airports. It has also been shown that dogs can be trained to smell cancer and I have noticed when I'm sick my dog will sniff at my breath so she must be able to smell something unusual. Combining this and you might have a very bakeable idea.+
pydor, Sep 28 2006

       Nice story, told by my brother. He was working a Friday night in A+E one time and one of the many drunks who’d hurt himself got annoyed when told the waiting time was 3 hours or so. He didn’t want to wait and got quite aggressive about it to a nurse. This nurse has been working weekend nights for about 30 years and doesn’t take any shit. He said, “I want to see a doctor RIGHT now, I’m not waiting here etc, etc…”. She said, “Fine, no problem. Just come with me”. She then took him back into the waiting room and asked those assembled, “If it’s alright with you lot, this man here would like to be seen immediately because he doesn’t want to wait. I appreciate that you’ve all been waiting a long time, but he doesn’t want to. Is it alright if he jumps the queue?”. There was general uproar and loud indignation from the fifty or so people in the waiting room, and the man went and sat down and waited like good boy for his turn. Ha!   

       As to the idea. Can all illnesses be detected by an electronic breathaliser? If so, tell me how and I'll bun you. Neutral for the mo'.
squeak, Sep 29 2006

       What is a ppl? We use words around here.
Galbinus_Caeli, Sep 29 2006

       HPLC, is a real thing, High Pressure Liquid Chromatography. Sorts and measures quantities of organic chemicals.   

       This could measure break-down products from drugs that are in one's system. We breath them out. Probably what the dog smells.   

       Blood tests can do same thing, costs money takes longer.   

       Bottom line, once this instrument is in place, fewer scammers would bother to go, cause they will know they cannot lie, about drugs they are on.   

       Infectious disease might be detected by a culture plate that is coughed onto, then cultured/ view with microscope. Separating them quickly keeps the rest of waiters safe from bad germs.
prodigalaunt, Oct 02 2006

       HPLC machines use a consumable product (referred to as a column) to make the actual separations in the substrate you are measuring. These columns come in various sizes, microns of filtration and properties (base deactivated etc.) These differing properties affect what you can and cannot determine from your sample. You would have to run hundreds of separations and take many hours for this idea to have any merit. Bone.
benindubai, Oct 02 2006

       Doesn't all the above just mean the idea's baked, but isn't put to the use suggested?
Murdoch, Oct 03 2006

       This is magic. Bloodstream metabolites would be detected only if they were volatile, or if the patient was spewing blood as he breathed. Breath HPLC might detect that someone was sick (ketones?) but not "heavily infectious" because even airbone microbes are too big for chromatography. One might do HPLC for the unique lipids in tuberculosis I suppose but I think they would need to be processed first. I am at a loss as to how HPLC would identify FREQUENT FLIERS.
bungston, Oct 04 2006

       Alarming that you think drunk/high people don't deserve medical care.
pigtails_and_ponies, Oct 04 2006

       This is a terrible idea for the simple reason that some drug users and addicts, as well as "Frequent Flyers", and people living with psychiatric disorders such as hypochondria are in-fact sick when they show up at the ER. This is why we assess them all with the caring a scrutinizing eye of a trained and HUMAN health care professional. You had better not be an MD or an RN, and if you are you had better not be in a health care institution near me or any one I love.
LED Prism, Oct 04 2006

       Alarming that you think drunk/high people don't deserve medical care//   

       I agree. And so what if a patient is high, medical professionals take an oath to treat to the best of their ability, not to judge.
webfishrune, Oct 05 2006

       I can't believe this idea has gotten such a bad review. The method is lacking but the idea itself is good. they are making tiny detectors for various microbes it has been developed for homeland security this is baked sorry i don't know how to make a link and this isn't my idea so I lack the motivation. [prodigalaunt] maybe you want to find links to my defence of your idea so you can get rid of the fishy odour.
pydor, Oct 10 2006

       I like the idea of a "mechanized device to analyze triage patients" but it doesn't have to necessarily be in the magical form of a breathalizer test now, does it!? A blood test would be much better for analyzing a wider range of ailments. Anyway, [+] for magically delicious intentions though.
quantum_flux, Oct 23 2007


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