Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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iPedal

White, shiny, largely useless, self-powered (batteries not included)
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Well, let's see... it's white... oh, I already said that. It's shiny. Ditto. It's largely useless, so it has many more functions than you'll ever actually use. And it's self- powered, so you provide the energy to run it.

It is, I therefore suspect, a beautifully designed white bicycle with a lot of fancy functions to keep elitist consumers with a need to appear to be somehow more savvy and cool than everyone else they know, happy and smug about their expensive purchase.

Of course, with them all being white, we'll make a killing by offering a range of even more useless customisation options, so you can feel like you're actually an individual, for having bought one and then made it unique.

Repeat after me: "WE'RE ALL INDIVIDUALS!"

UnaBubba, May 15 2012

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       Come on [UB] - could not many of us easily be described as white, shiny, largely useless, and self-powered?
hippo, May 15 2012
  

       Speak for yourself, I'm white, shiny, largely useless, and under-powered.
AusCan531, May 15 2012
  

       No relation to the (Orangestr) iped (triggerfish)?
not_morrison_rm, May 15 2012
  

       Idea came from my son, who has recently bought himself an iPod, as his siter bought one for herself at Xmas.   

       His sister asked him what came before the iPod and he answered "iPedal", then a moment later, "iRock". I've no idea where he gets it from.
UnaBubba, May 15 2012
  

       Surreal, off-the-wall stream-of-consciousness gibberish that makes Finnegan's Wake read like a Times editorial ?   

       He's your son, all right.
8th of 7, May 15 2012
  

       I'm fairly sure of that. He's only 11 and he's already way too quick for the kids around him.   

       A kid who's been picking on him called him"A failed abortion", last week.   

       His year co-ordinator teacher tells us he looked at the bully, sneered and said, "Rather that than a successful one, fat boy." End of discussion. Teacher told us he wishes he'd thought of it.
UnaBubba, May 15 2012
  

       I like him already.
AusCan531, May 15 2012
  

       Funny yes. Invention no. Needs a more detailed description to be half-patentable. [-]
sqeaketh the wheel, May 15 2012
  

       Eagerly awaiting iPaper and iScissors.   

       Perhaps we can persuade Apple to buy out Iran? They could retain a dictatorship, but it would at least function...
RayfordSteele, May 15 2012
  

       If I can surreptitiously obtain [UB]'s address, I'm going to start sending this kid 'helpful advice'.   

       And military ordnance.
Alterother, May 15 2012
  

       If the size of his fridge is any indication, you should be able to address it simply to 'Australia, Eastern Seaboard.'
RayfordSteele, May 15 2012
  

       //Perhaps we can persuade Apple to buy out Iran? // - It's no coincidence their European manufacturing site is in Ireland (iLand).
hippo, May 15 2012
  

       Me thinks there should be more to the description for me to fully grasp this idea, cause it kind of looks like you ran out of "self power", somewhere in the process.
blissmiss, May 15 2012
  

       Can't wait till Apple really stumbles and the headlines read, "Apple goes pear-shaped."
UnaBubba, May 15 2012
  

       Ha, ha, funny man ...   

       // If I can surreptitiously obtain [UB]'s address, I'm going to start sending this kid 'helpful advice' .. And military ordnance. //   

       No surreptition required. Step into our office for a moment ...
8th of 7, May 15 2012
  

       //Apple goes pear-shaped// Well, they have produced a few lemons in their time.
FlyingToaster, May 15 2012
  
      
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