Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Chewable.

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.

user:
pass:
register,


                       

lips o' fun

  (+4, -3)
(+4, -3)
  [vote for,
against]

You're at a cocktail party and you stumble into the kitchen to escape the noisy party for a breath or two of fresh air.

What's this? you say, eyeing the kettle in a drug riddled haze. A pair of pursed female robotic lips are fitted into its side, smooth and moistened by mechanical means - undulating with a long slippery tongue as you switch it on. You groan as the appliance undulates and throbs with a realistic swallow effect, warm artificial saliva dripping onto your trousers. Your eyes dart about the room - lips o' fun on the toaster blow you a kiss, the waffle iron bites its bottom lip, the juicer puffs hard on a marlboro and ooohhh my god ...

the host of the party walks in and you put the kettle back nervously on the bench, do up your fly and get the first taxi back to the hospital.

benfrost, Dec 10 2004

[link]






       Erm. Well. Uh. Hmm. It has a tongue, you say?
bristolz, Dec 10 2004
  

       So the idea is dual function sex toys/food preparation devices?   

       I hope you didn't eat or drink anything at that cocktail party. [-]
contracts, Dec 10 2004
  

       I don't get it. Is it just a hallucination or just cute attachments for kitchen appliances? Either way, I'm scared.
Machiavelli, Dec 10 2004
  

       Not sure a kettle would be the best choice for this, from a liability standpoint.
Worldgineer, Dec 10 2004
  

       Skip the party and go straight to the hospital, it'll save ya some time.
blissmiss, Dec 10 2004
  

       I knew it was you when I got to //undulating with a long slippery tongue//. Get help [ben], before you scald your lips.
wagster, Dec 10 2004
  

       OK, I've had it with the halfbakery wank-fest. Please either find something to talk about other than your genitalia or some other place to do the talking.
jutta, Dec 11 2004
  

       well there is a sex toy section in halfbakery. some of my ideas are filthy, but i feel they reflect with irony the filthy world we live in. point taken however :)
benfrost, Dec 11 2004
  

       It's not that I never want anyone to talk about sex; but lately, we've had three or four newcomers (and some oldtimers like you) who are all joining in the dick-waving fray, and I've simply had enough. It's not transgressive or interesting anymore if every other idea on the halfbakery goes for the shock value.   

       (And they're all just "cultural" ideas - it's not like anyone actually invents a new sex toy or something here. ...)
Maybe we can consider the filthy world we live in sufficiently ironically reflected at this juncture. Just for a week or so.
jutta, Dec 11 2004
  

       It's odd enough that every idea posted on this category after the crash has gotten a majority of negative votes. Maybe people are extra strict when it comes to inventing something that's supposed to have contact with his/her genitals.
Pericles, Dec 11 2004
  

       "What was I going to do? Take away your only hope?"
reensure, Dec 12 2004
  
      
[annotate]
  


 

back: main index

business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle