Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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swiss navy knife

some neutrality: all in one survival tool
  (+7, -1)
(+7, -1)
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against]

Swiss Navy Knife - available in stained steel, puce, or unfinished. Includes a runcible spoon, spam opener, impact tweezers, screwdriver miniflask, moral outrage alarm, hot air bag, windshears, and dehubrisifier. Price upon request. Sealed bids encouraged. All offers null and void. Guaranteed.
mread, Nov 11 2005

Landpirates.com: Swiss Navy Cutlass http://cutlass.lardpirates.com/
A twist on the scout humor ("...folds out into a very small paddle") [jutta, Nov 12 2005]

[link]






       cuckoo? chocolate? alps - echo?   

       not my bone - I hate that.   

       what's this got to do with the navy?
po, Nov 11 2005
  

       I should have thought that a "schnapps miniflask" or even a "grog miniflask" would have been more appropriate for the Swiss Navy Knife than an orange juice and vodka "screwdriver miniflask". What were they thinking?
jurist, Nov 11 2005
  

       What's really weird is that a Swiss team won the America's Cup. (That's a big sailing race.)   

       Seriously need a dehubrisifier. Bun for that alone.
moomintroll, Nov 11 2005
  

       Windshears? My flight instructor sent me into the maintenace hangar to get a pair of those once, when I was a new student. That and a bottle of propwash. So I duct-taped a pair of scissors to a battery-operated fan, and re-labeled a bottle of windex. For the laugh, he waived his fee for the day.   

       [+] for bringing back a good memory.
Freefall, Nov 11 2005
  

       sp: unfinnished
Shz, Nov 11 2005
  

       What are impact tweezers? Google doesn't indicate that they exist...
my-nep, Nov 12 2005
  

       An impact driver is a drill that can drill in to particularly tough materials. Presumably, an impact tweezer does a job on those particular hard-to-tweeze areas. I shudder to think of the details.
jutta, Nov 12 2005
  

       In this evil twin of the swiss army knife, the impact tweezers mashes the troll hair or the offending thorn into your side. you could use the Phillips [vodka brand] head screwdriver for the miniflask.
mread, Nov 12 2005
  

       [+] Just for getting me to finally look up runcible and be surprised to find out that it isn't made up.
wagster, Nov 12 2005
  

       Then we googled the runcible spoon
And hand in hand, by the edge of the sand
We danced by the light of the moon, the moon (etc).
  

       Sorry, the only context of 'runcible' I've ever heard of.
froglet, Nov 12 2005
  

       Not many people know that 'google' as a word was invented by Edward Lear, who used it in his epic poem 'The Basarious Adventures of the Luminous Bong'. Just think how different the world would be if the search engine people had preferred 'Jabberwocky'.   

       [wags] What? What are you talking about? I just googled it, and it looks very made up to me.
moomintroll, Nov 13 2005
  
      
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