Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Quis custodiet the custard?

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Arrange Greeting Card Sales Rack By Life Stage

Birth announcements on the left...
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... then birthday cards, graduation cards, wedding stuff, condolence cards for funerals on the right.

Holiday cards are in the other aisle.

doctorremulac3, Nov 28 2014

I see this as being a supercompressed short story version of phundug's idea Airport_20Novel_20(with_20Branches!)
from eight years ago [calum, Dec 03 2014]

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       I suppose there's an endcap on the right for the Dalai Lama?
Spacecoyote, Nov 28 2014
  

       ^ carousel card display: Happy Reincarnation cards plunked between 'It's a Boy/Girl/Other" and "Oops".
FlyingToaster, Nov 28 2014
  

       I think there is something quite good about this idea. I like it, a lot.
blissmiss, Nov 28 2014
  

       I'm thinking about a bun, but there are problematic situations whereas someone has a baby before they get married; which comes first? Get Well cards can be placed randomly? Should funny cards be mixed with Religious cards? Oh well, anyway, it's a somewhat good idea, so here's a somewhat croissant. +
xandram, Dec 01 2014
  

       //Should funny cards be mixed with Religious cards?   

       Is there a difference?   

       But, more constructively, top to bottom with humorous at the top and more serious towards the bottom.   

       You could do 'get well soon' cards on a similar system, higher up for cranial maladies, at the bottom for feet related stuff and one 1/3 of the way up in a very narrow niche for gynaecological issues.   

       For the more fashion-oriented, you could do a concertina-style card, which when opened would cascade down to show styles through the ages, on separate sheets.
not_morrison_rm, Dec 02 2014
  

       Now I'm picturing a universal origami-style card with a different message depending on how it's folded.
Spacecoyote, Dec 02 2014
  

       ^ good idea.
not_morrison_rm, Dec 02 2014
  

       ^.
FlyingToaster, Dec 02 2014
  

       I'm not sure how this idea would work. The numbered birthday cards are fine and could be nicely ordered, but as you can die or get married at any age, each birthday card selection would have to be interspersed with marriage and funeral cards.
hippo, Dec 02 2014
  

       Perhaps it could be divided by reference to actuarial tables, plotting out the life of the actuarially typical male or female, splitting perhaps in two at the actuarially typical age of divorce, with one route studded with anniversary cards, increasingly pockmarked with Deepest Sympathy, the other line itself fragmenting into further marriages, all lines puttering to a close with a succession of tokenistic get well soon cards.
calum, Dec 02 2014
  

       You could have this be the primary delineator for the X axis of the layout, left to right, then have the Z axis, up and down, be categories on the left clearly labeled as "Humorous" or "Sentimental", categories of "Grandparent to grandkid", "Friend to friend" etc.   

       So you want a funny birthday card for a 5 year old nephew? Look on the left hand side for "Nephew"/"Funny", then walk right past the birth announcements till you get to the birthday section, 1, 2, 3, 4... ah, here we are. Funny birthday cards for 5 year old nephews.   

       There would probably be some blank sections like the"Funny" and "Funerals" intersection though. Although not if I were writing greeting cards.
doctorremulac3, Dec 02 2014
  

       //actuarially typical male or female// - yes, basing it around this concept would work. It would be educational too - you'd be able to walk into the shop and see at a glance how far off the actuarial norm you were. I see the cards being displayed in a large grid-like display, with life stages along the x-axis, and the y-axis being used for emotive content, so happy, uplifting, jolly and humourous cards near the top and sombre, commiseratory cards near the bottom. This would allow for humourous funeral cards or sympathetic engagement cards.
hippo, Dec 03 2014
  

       I think there should also be cards for First Marriage, Second Marriage, Third Marriage, etc. Sorry you are in the Hospital on your Birthday. Congrats on Your Divorce. Sorry your Wife Caught you Cheating on her. Good Luck on your new job, You're Fired. OK, this is turning into a list...sorry this is turning into a list.
xandram, Dec 03 2014
  

       Where to put the homeless greeting cards?
RayfordSteele, Dec 03 2014
  

       Could get kind of complicated I guess.   

       As an alternative, I think single cards that you customize have been suggested before.   

       Congratulations [ ] Condolences [ ]   

       On your   

       Graduation [ ] Birthday [ ] Marriage [ ] Divorce [ ] Alien abduction [ ] (with probing [ ]) Sex change [ ] (check all that apply)
doctorremulac3, Dec 03 2014
  

       I can tick 4.5 of those.   

       Ah..punched cards...it has all the options, simply drop it into the restored and modified IBM card-punching machine and it punches out the not appropriate bits.   

       The alternative would be a Rubik's cube card, where by twists it displays all the options one at a time..
not_morrison_rm, Dec 03 2014
  

       Make the entire card section look like rows upon rows of graves. A little tricky with a vertical display, but the effect might be able to pulled off especially if looking from below like a child. Every card whether celebratory apologetic, religious or otherwise has pictures of cemeteries.
rcarty, Dec 03 2014
  
      
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