Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Baby Bell jar

For silencing annoying child screeching at restaurants
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You get all dressed up, invite your friends out to join you and your wife for a relaxing evening meal at a nice restaurant. You are sitting there, about to order and you hear it; the ear shattering screech of someone's out of control baby or toddler who is quite tired and dissatisfied at having to sit there while it's adults ignore it. The mind numbing screeching absorbs all conversation and completely shatters the ambiance of having a pleasant meal. You give irritated glances, you stare, thinking the parents will take the hint and remove the siren. They pretend everything is just fine and go on ignoring the maniac voice shrapnel.

You call over the waiter, quietly inform him of the need of the baby bell jar to be brought to table 13 and tip him five dollars for extra panache in delivering it. Moments later, the lovely glass jar and accompanying seal fitting platter are wheeled out and the now screaming in high C infant mobidius is snatched up and placed under the sound proof glass. The jar is locked in place and the sound isolated flailing little beasty is safely and quietly contained. Peace reigns supreme and everyone tips a glass in toast of appreciation toward your table. Smilingly, you rejoin your splendid companions, reengaging in intimate jovial conversation once again. The evening is saved.

Altoidian, Jun 18 2015

Portable child hypoxicator Portable_20child_20hypoxicator
Prior Art [8th of 7, Jun 19 2015]

http://ruthlessrhym...harry_graham/page/6 The perfect solution. [xenzag, Jun 19 2015]

[link]






       Ok 8th, take off the mask.
blissmiss, Jun 18 2015
  

       Yes, it is. Beryllium would be much better.   

       // take off the mask //   

       No, honestly, he's not one of our sub-units.   

       But we wish he was. Prime Assimilation material, looking at his profile. With luck, he hates cats, too.
8th of 7, Jun 19 2015
  

       How about just using the nearest river? See link to most excellent Harry Graham poem on this very matter.
xenzag, Jun 19 2015
  

       Rebreather in the bobble of the bell jar would suffice for a couple of hours.
wjt, Jun 19 2015
  

       Zyklon-B would be better.
8th of 7, Jun 19 2015
  

       I have no problem with keeping my babybels in a jar.   

       //mobidius// is not a word. I checked. Making up words is a recipe for disastrophe.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 19 2015
  
      
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