Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Portable child hypoxicator

Quieter than your average brat.
(+4, -4)
  [vote for,

A conventional looking travel cot/pushchair for a child, except this has a blown clear plastic triple glazed airtight cover.

When the lid is closed, the built-in gas-mixing mechanism engages, decreasing the oxygen content of the gas within the unit to about 15% (6% less than normal). This causes no harm, and is enough to support life, but not sufficient for anything more than the resting metabolic rate. Should the child become unduly active (i.e. by screaming its lungs out in a public place), it will quickly deplete its oxygen reserves and lose consciousness; its respiration will naturally diminish, and it will recover.

The triple-glazed lid helps to reduce any temporary inconvenience to those nearby while the squawking little sod screams itself into oblivion.

The atmosphere control system also removes water vapour and CO2, and keeps the temperature at an acceptable level.

8th of 7, Aug 24 2011

Safe oxygen levels http://www.newton.d.../zoo00/zoo00755.htm
[DIYMatt, Aug 24 2011]

Altitude Sickness http://en.wikipedia...i/Altitude_sickness
[DIYMatt, Aug 24 2011]


       This should be fitted as standard on all trains and planes. [+]
Wrongfellow, Aug 24 2011

       //This causes no harm, and is enough to support life// We sure about that?
DIYMatt, Aug 24 2011

       I'm tempted to bone but won't. I do think that people are too willing to have children and i have unfortunately reproduced myself, but the children have no choice about being children and we were all once of that age.
nineteenthly, Aug 24 2011

       // i have unfortunately reproduced myself //   

       To clone oneself accidentally sounds remarkably like carelessness.   

       It also sounds like you regret it already ....   

       // children have no choice about being children //   

       Oh, they do, they do ...   

       // we were all once of that age //   

       Speak for your own species, please.
8th of 7, Aug 24 2011

       [8th] tell us about you life cycle <yawn> bet there's no sex...
po, Aug 24 2011

       If you are going to triple glaze the push chair why don't you simply pump out all the air from between two of the layers? The resulting vacuum will nicely insulate the tyke from outside temperatures and nicely insulate the outside world from unseemly noises emanating from within.   

       It will save constructing all that gas-mixing mechanism stuff.
AusCan531, Aug 25 2011

       //children have no choice about being children//   

       But the parents have a choice about whether they inflict their children on us, and we have a choice about the extent to which we put up with them.
Wrongfellow, Aug 25 2011

       // why don't you simply pump out all the air from between two of the layers? //   

       Sorry, we should have mentioned that. Some sound might still be transmitted via the structure of the device, though. And there's an active sound cancellation system, but it's not enough ... just not enough ... NOT ENOUGH ...   

       // a choice about the extent to which we put up with them. // ... and their nauseating, squalling, ugly, puke-covered smelly little brats, too. Well said, [Wrong].
8th of 7, Aug 25 2011

       Seems like undue effort when a command activated shock collar will achive equivilent results...   

       [+], however.
MikeD, Aug 25 2011

       Despite [DIYMatt]'s link (which is clearly not addressing effects of chronic intermittent hypoxia on a deveoloping brain) I'll pass along the advice of my pediatrician: phenobarbital. That's a drug with a very, very long track record in even the youngest and most vulnerable patients.   

       Just make sure you don't misplace a decimal point when you calculate the dose.
mouseposture, Aug 25 2011

       //Sorry, we should have mentioned that.//   

       A marriage proposal AND an apology. If I didn't know better [8th] I'd say you were flirting.
AusCan531, Aug 25 2011

       // simply pump out all the air from between two of the layers //   

       That's really neat, actually. Maybe a bubble over the entire family? I do think sound would be conducted via whatever suspended the bubble though, or through the floor. It wouldn't be silent.
nineteenthly, Aug 26 2011


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