Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Crouching Tigress, Recumbent Gynecologist

doc on a dolly
  (+35, -7)(+35, -7)(+35, -7)
(+35, -7)
  [vote for,

Many women feel uncomfortable and vulnerable during a gynecologist visit, on their backs with legs spread and supported on stirrups. Turn the tables on the doctor patient relationship by having the patient standing or squatting over a shallow pit.

The reclined examiner would roll under the examinee on a dolly (with or without stirrups) with a variable height undercarriage. If the examination proves too unpleasant, the patient could always run out of the office.

FarmerJohn, Mar 03 2005

(??) dolly, creeper, trolley http://www.toolwork...orkshop/creeper.jpg
[FarmerJohn, Mar 03 2005]


       A pit? Like in a car shop ?   

       I'll let this one for the gyno users. :P
NeoPiter, Mar 03 2005

       Consider the effects of gravity - helpful when delivering a baby, but likely to cause inconvenient precipitation other times.
robinism, Mar 03 2005

       I do like the image of the grease monkey doctor. Would he wear overalls with his name embroidered on?
robinism, Mar 03 2005

       words fail .........
dentworth, Mar 03 2005

       what dent said!   

       I like the running away bit though...
po, Mar 03 2005

       "Pass the grease gun and buffer polisher Fred"
skinflaps, Mar 03 2005

       I don't think we need an illustration for this one.
wagster, Mar 03 2005

       oh no wagster I absolutely demand an illustration!
dentworth, Mar 03 2005

       As long as folks in the waiting room can't hear the pneumatic torque wrench.
waugsqueke, Mar 03 2005

       Would the doctor get to lie on one of those very low trolleys mechanics use for looking under cars?

("Pass me my Snap-On speculum please")
hippo, Mar 03 2005

       That's what I meant by "dolly" also called a creeper in the link.
FarmerJohn, Mar 03 2005

       I love the title of this idea - My brother and I used to have a game where we had to think of film titles that loosely followed the Adverb Noun, Adverb Noun pattern.
zen_tom, Mar 03 2005

       This is more Adjective noun, adjective noun. Like "Silent Night, Holy Night."
robinism, Mar 03 2005

       Oh yes, I missed adjectives and adverbs at school and have forever since gotten them confused. <blushes and sits down at the back of the class>
zen_tom, Mar 03 2005

       Real nice title, FJ, real nice.   

       Whilst the title alone merits a croissant (Bing!), I can't really say I'd feel more comfortable squatting right over someone's face than I do lying down.   

       Incidentally, a friend of mine who lived there told me that in Japan, a small, curtained screen is placed across the woman's stomach so she can't see the gynecologist, even during childbirth.
squeak, Mar 03 2005

       HAHAHA!!! Hey, this is pretty funny! Oh no...now the mental image is going to stay with me forever--and the gyno's going to wonder why I'm giggling during my visits.
Machiavelli, Mar 03 2005

       On illustration: [FJ], you're on your own on this one.   

       Made me laugh, though.
bristolz, Mar 03 2005

       I just had a sudden urge to cross my legs, tight.   

       My GYN is female, and I don't know if she would be liking this or not. I'll ask the next time I go for a tune-up, I mean check-up.
blissmiss, Mar 03 2005

       If we continue with the analogy, I suppose we'd have to consider whether there'd be multi-bay exam rooms where the nurse, squinting through the smoke issuing from the cigarette butt dangling from her lips, would use cryptic hand gestures to direct the patients to stand in the proper place straddling the pit.   

       Also, excellent titling.
Soterios, Mar 03 2005

       Yeah, I especially like the font.
bristolz, Mar 03 2005

       For some reason I keep reading this as "recombinant gynecologist". But that's a whole other idea, I guess
theircompetitor, Mar 03 2005

       I like that there are optional stirrups for the doctor on the dolly. I feel that is fair. But overall this doesn't really fix the problem of being exposed nor does it take into account women who lack the leg strength to squat through an examination.   

       But getting some detailing done - ground effects, maybe some racing stripes - that would be nice.
k_sra, Mar 03 2005

       Add some hydrolics and spinning chrome rims and Bob's yer uncle.
Machiavelli, Mar 03 2005

       What's my uncle doing in here?
k_sra, Mar 03 2005

       I still like the running away bit!
po, Mar 03 2005

       me 2 [po]. I giggled, I admit.
k_sra, Mar 03 2005

       Just the thing for looking up a friend.
Ian Tindale, Mar 04 2005

       NOTE TO ALL PATRONS: Please be sure to use the restroom before your consultation. Thank you!
RayfordSteele, Mar 04 2005

       Won't the necessary tensing of muscles for squatting cause difficulties with the examination?
Detly, Mar 04 2005

       //NOTE TO ALL PATRONS// Shouldn't that be "matrons"?
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Mar 04 2005

       I think the effects of gravity and the fact that the legs are not spread would make examination considerably more difficult. Crouching would not be enough - the legs would need to be widely separated.
nineteenthly, Mar 04 2005

       I like to dance during the procedure. My gynecologist gets all upset.
“Can’t you stop that?" he says. "Get your feet back in the—”
“But I’ve got happy feet!” I say, as I clamp him in a headlock and roll us off the table.
pluterday, Mar 04 2005

       If I've got to put up with the unpleasantness and indignity of someone fiddling around with my nether regions in a medical sense, then I need, nay *deserve* to sit/lie down. Can't be doing with this standing up rubbish. The title however is magnificent.
hazel, Mar 04 2005

       I can't believe this hasn't made it into the superheroes category - Gurney Gynae
coprocephalous, Dec 08 2005


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