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Flail hat

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MaxCo. has been following with interest the recent court cases over the Frog Hat and the Bat in the Hat. I hardly feel it necessary to draw further attention to these unfortunate incidents.

Seeing a much-needed gap in the market, MaxCo. is diluted to announce the launch of its range of Flail Hats. Concealed in the crown is a low-profile lightweight electric motor driven by an integral battery (with optional solar top-up). When the built-in microphone detects the high-pitched whine of an insect*, the motor is turned on, spinning the tastefully-designed hub at the top of the hat. Two 28cm spring-loaded, tip-weighted piano wire flails are extended from the hub by centripugal force, providing a near-invisible and virtually silent helicopteroid effect. Any insect intersecting the disc swept by the flails is, of course, dispatched immediately.

Our latest models have flat, angled spring-steel flails which, when extended and rotating, provide negative lift which presses the hat more firmly onto the head. This obviates the need to raise one's hand to steady the hat in windy weather, and hence eliminates any risk of inadvertent limb removal. This arrangement has the advantage of actively drawing insects towards the flails in the airflow.

*warning - crowds of Australians may cause unexpected activation of the mechanism.

MaxwellBuchanan, May 11 2013

[link]






       You had me at:   

       //...Our latest models [...] (eliminate) any risk of limb removal...//   

       I must congratulate the MaxCo Design Team, no doubt recently adorned (via **previous** models of the Flail Hat) with the very latest prosthetic limbs that lowest-bidder money can buy. [+]   

       [8th of 7] must be smiling, wherever they are.
Grogster, May 11 2013
  

       Thank you, [grog]. I doff my... oh bugger.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 11 2013
  

       // Seeing a much-needed gap //   

       Or creating one, once the thing gets up to speed.
Alterother, May 11 2013
  

       might work on bees, possibly flies; but would probably attract flying ants, mosquitoes and midges like a carnival ride.
FlyingToaster, May 11 2013
  

       As a head-mounted strimmer, it could also be useful for lawn edging and/or ninja topiary, which has yet to be invented.
not_morrison_rm, May 11 2013
  

       I can approve, but only if the entire hat resembles a cow's arse with a rotating duo tail...... welllllll??? does it?? {dangles rare (for me) croissant award temptingly}
xenzag, May 11 2013
  

       Just for you, [xen], since I owe you one.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 11 2013
  
      
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