h a l f b a k e r y
Not so much a thought experiment as a single neuron misfire.
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Sometimes hats leave the head. They may blow off or they may be hurled off, because it is fun to watch them fly, and because unlike other intrusions on the primal state of nakedness, they can be detached with little effort.
The latter issue becomes important in small children who do not want to
wear their hats. BUNGCO has nothing if not sympathy for them, but hats are good and should stay on.
Introducing the Hairclamp Hat! This headgear comes in a range of sizes (all sporting the sporty BUNGCO logo in kelly green!) and underneath is a set of springloaded combs. On deploying, these harmlessly pinch the hair. Hair has no feeling until it is pulled and the wearer of such a hat soon learns that attempts to pull it off yield an unpleasant tugging of the locks. Disarm the combs and the hat comes off easily.
||... an intricate series of guyropes