Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Yeah, I wish it made more sense too.

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Kipper Tie Kites

One for all the bored, besuited office-monkeys out there. You know who you are.
  (+7)
(+7)
  [vote for,
against]

For all too many of us, the suit is a symbol of our lack of personal freedom. It's a uniform almost as fixed and rigid as the fatigues of the military. Every day, hundreds of thousands of us press-ganged souls don these bland work clothes like deep-sea divers, and plunge ourselves into the murky depths of corporate slavery for yet another day. The tie is a particularly concrete sign of our oppression - day in, day out, some of us have to tie this literal yoke around our necks out of financial necessity. It's no fun, yet it has to be done. Still, every time I wrap my tie around my neck, I imagine I hear the clinking of chains, and sometimes I swear it even feels like there's a heavy lead ball on the end of it.

So - let's turn this sad situation around. Rather than go for all-out revolution (which might make a mess of my neatly-pressed shirt), we'll lower our horizons somewhat and make Kipper Tie Kites instead. A kipper tie, for those not used to comparing neck adornments with denizens of the deep, is basically just a really wide tie. In my design, however, it has a thin spar running between the widest points, and another running from the top to bottom of the entire tie. The extravagant-looking Windsor knot at the top of the tie actually conceals a quick-release stud, which, when pressed (at coffee or lunch-breaks) disengages the kite-tie from its throat-based moorings. Hey presto - a tiny kite. The bit of your tie which you wrapped a few times round your neck in the morning before going to work can now be unravelled to form the long, ribbon-like tail of your little kite. Also ensconced within that faux Windsor knot are several tightly-coiled metres of string. Enough for you to fly your tiny tie-kite to your heart's content, and watch it soar far above your workplace and all the petty little rules that you have to adhere to if you want to get your paycheck at the end of the month.

No longer a symbol of servitude, your humble tie becomes a metaphor for your personal freedom as it arcs gracefully over the work cafeteria.

I also like the idea of the kite being held aloft by the updraft of like-minded collegues wearing those revolving bow-tie things. Obviously I have far too much time on my hands.

lostdog, Jan 10 2004

Tiny Kites http://miniatures.k....com/mini_links.htm
Wasn't sure if a tie-sized kite was feasible - I needn't have worried. [lostdog, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Teeny-Tiny Kites http://www.kiteman.co.uk/MiniKites.html
The Japanese ones are particularly smart. "Pin included to show size." [lostdog, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Hair Kites http://www.halfbake...m/idea/Hair_20Kites
yet more tiny kites, by [FarmerJohn] [krelnik, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

[link]






       I though this idea was going to be a bit fishy.
Cedar Park, Jan 10 2004
  

       i love it...here is a croissant to eat while you watch your cute tie fly away....:)
babyhawk, Jan 10 2004
  

       <pets [lostdog] and feeds him some kipper crackers>
k_sra, Jan 10 2004
  

       The tie may be fishy, but the idea smells as good as a fresh-baked croissant. [+]
Klaatu, Jan 10 2004
  

       New sport: Competition kiting around AC vents. Steer with extra lines tied to your ears. Just a tiny twist of the head is all it takes. Does not interfere with busy typing.
kbecker, Jan 11 2004
  

       *sigh*   

       first I was smiling at the lovely image, but now I'm frustrated and grumpy that I can only vote a '+' once
seedy em, Jan 15 2004
  

       reminds me of that great Noddy Holder joke.
neilp, Jan 15 2004
  

       Do tell, neilp..
lostdog, Jan 15 2004
  

       Better make a model for upper management that's clip-on, or someone might use it to choke the life out of them.
Size_Mick, Jan 15 2004
  

       //New sport: Competition kiting around AC vents. Steer with extra lines tied to your ears. Just a tiny twist of the head is all it takes. Does not interfere with busy typing.//   

       Leading to everyone looking like Stevie Wonder.   

       I like this idea. I might even start wearing a tie if it was a kite.
GenYus, Jan 15 2004
  

       Nice idea. (+)   

       However, until it's baked, console yourself by thinking of those of us who have to wear a corporate uniform to work. Oh, there's no tie, but I do have to wear a white open-necked shirt with my name and company logo on the front. I also have to wear red trousers. Yes, red. And not nice trousers, either, but overall-quality polyester/cotton mix, with - wait for it - a crease stitched down each leg. There is also, provided for the amusement of our fellow citizens, a red jumper, and a matching red coat for those of us who work in the office out the back and have to walk across to the main site three or four times a day.   

       Everyone wears the same, from the receptionist to the General Manager (skirts/blouses provided for female staff).   

       I LONG for the days when I wore a shirt and tie. I looked the same as everyone else, but at least I was doing it individually!   

       Still, could have been worse. Rumour has it that the colour choice was between red and buttercup yellow.
egbert, Jan 15 2004
  

       Sounds very dapper, egbert. You have my sympathies.
lostdog, Jan 15 2004
  

       [egbert], do you work for a pest-control company? Because that uniform sounds familiar. If so, you can console yourself that you don't have to drive around in a giant ant/mouse car.
GenYus, Jan 15 2004
  

       I'd love to drive around in a giant antmouse car. Preferably with antlers.
lostdog, Jan 15 2004
  

       well, I don't have to wear a uniform but I can guarantee that no matter what I wear I will end the day with baby throw up all over it!so I guess that is what makes it my uniform. ;)
babyhawk, Jan 15 2004
  

       There's a fine line between a company logo and an interesting stain, bbhawk.
lostdog, Jan 15 2004
  

       lostdog, thanks for the sympathy. Genyus, I work for a company that makes bespoke engine mountings and suspension bushes for car manufacturers. The company is well known for its tyres (which business was sold off four years ago) and has the same name as a well known door-to-door perfume sales company. (Ding dong...)
egbert, Jan 16 2004
  

       It looks like the great crash ate a few of your votes, [lostdog]. [+]
swimswim, Jun 04 2010
  
      
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