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Legalese Babelfish

Interpret the fine print into comprehensible language.
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As a former language student with an international group of friends, I have a thing for studying unusual languages whenever I get a chance. However, there is one that I simply don't want to comprehend for fear of how it might affect my personality: Legalese. The language of lawyers, in all of its various dialects and inflections, simply doesn't attract me enough to want to study it, regardless of any financial loss it I might incur from my ineptitude.

Enter the heroic Babelfish to spare us all.

One can't help but wonder, since the original Babelfish from the HGTHG series fed off of brainwaves, whether or not rendering legalese into conversational English will result in killing the poor fish off from either poison or starvation.

And now I'm wondering, would legalese render to Vogon poetry?

RayfordSteele, May 31 2002

Language clarifier http://www.halfbake...anguage_20Clarifier
OK, not quite the same, but similar [yamahito, May 31 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Poetic Legalese http://www.halfbake...a/Poetic_20Legalese
Same aim, different silver bullet. [phoenix, May 31 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Calvinball Contracts http://www.halfbake...vinball_20Contracts
The best reason (I think) to study law. [beauxeault, Jun 01 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

[link]






       This is very similar to another legalese translation idea - I think it was [sctld]'s.... hold on...
yamahito, May 31 2002
  

       Ok, it was Steve DeGroof, not scuttled.   

       And it's not quite the same idea, but the annos tend to lean that way...   

       Croissant.
yamahito, May 31 2002
  

       Yam, Steve's does mention software... perhaps I should pull mine, even though I like my title better... Funny, I did a search for 'legalese' and nothing came up. Guess I should've included some more terms.
RayfordSteele, May 31 2002
  

       Sorta like reading from the Book of the Dead, then? Or some occultic work?
RayfordSteele, Jun 02 2002
  

       <begin Star Wars jedi light-saber monk-chant music> NO! I used 'deliverables' in a sentence the other day. I fear it has already begun to grab ahold of me.   

       "Good. Good. Much pedantry I see in your future. Pedantry leads to legalism, legalism leads to legalese, and legalese leads to the dark side. Your knowledge of legal transcription has made you powerful. Strike me down, and your journey will be complete."
RayfordSteele, Jun 02 2002
  

       My intestines are already preparing their attack.
ironfroggy, Jun 04 2002
  

       Legalese translations, I would think, need to be not only of American lawyer translations, but of British, French, Canadian, etc. If you ever realise it, Legalese spans so far. You might need different formats of the "web software" to communicate. Doo, I just messed it up!
AMarkle, Jun 30 2002
  

       credit where credit is due: poetic legalese (and I agree with UB on this) belongs to Mickey the Fish
po, Jun 30 2002
  

       library overdue book fee
cadder, Mar 10 2004
  
      
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