h a l f b a k e r y
On the one hand, true. On the other hand, bollocks.
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The main problem of battleships is they are very noisy...so
ditch the current engines, and use sails.
Now, we get to the cunning bit, to keep a low profile, the
sails will be inside the hull.
If the wind is blowing the wrong way, there is a conveyor
belt which has a series of electric fans,
the fans blow on
the sail - creating motion - as the fan goes under the
conveyor belt, it furls it's sail to cut down on wind drag.
Yes, you say, but how about steering it?...
...as I was saying the ship can be steered by the use of
drones and sea anchors. The drone goes where you want
the pointy bit of the ship to go towards, drop the sea
anchor and just get the crew onto the treadmill to reel it
[pashute] A swim, one of these and a refloat.
Can't be that deep, the lake isn't even on Google. [wjt, May 17 2019, last modified May 18 2019]
||Now, if you had worked for D.M.W.D. in the 1940's, the 6th of June 1944 would have been memorable for ever so many different reasons ...
||Or, we just tell everyone we have
super secret stealth ships that they can't see.
||Everyone else gets really nervous about what we're doing
with these ships they can't see & spend billions trying to
develop ways to track & detect them.
||We spend the money we didn't spend on real stealth ships
on a bloody good piss up while we watch all our
competitors bankrupt themselves trying to find our non-
||[Skewed], there's a seat for you on the Inadvisory Board of
MaxCo.'s Armaments and Bakery division. It's only £50k per
year, but we thought that was as much as you could afford.
||Take it, [Skewed], it's 10k more than what he offered us. Favouritism, we call it.
||Many of you are unaware of a yet untold story about
the fate of the Bismarck in 1972.
||My brother and I had received a model battleship
with an electric motor that moved the turrets and
spun the propeller. After meticulously assembling it
together within several months, my mother took us
to the Ramat Gan national park where we rowed a
boat to the middle of the lake, attached the battery
according to the instructions and carefully set the
humming ship in the water.
||We rowed away to give it some Independence but
that turned out to be be a mistake. A small wave
rocked the Bismarck violently. The humming sound
changed to a gurgle. Tiny waves were emitting
around the ship but it didn't seem to be advancing
||Staring at it for a minute or two we realized that it
was actually not advancing at all. It seemed that it
was losing it's height in the water as well.. The guns
were still turning this way and that, but
slower now. Then we noticed that the deck was
barely above the water.
||When the gurgling sound changed to crackling we
were alarmed enough to spring into action and tried
to carefully approach the Bismarck from it's
||That was a second and fatal
mistake. As I reached out with my hand to grab the
ship, while dangerously leaning out of our boat, a
thin film of shinning water covered the deck. Guns
still turning and tiny circular waves still emitting
from the hull, the layer above the deck slowly
changed to dark green and then, with my hand still
moving in haste but surprisingly advancing in slow
motion, it disappeared into the murky water. We
stared at the location in silent awe, and that is when
the single burp of a large bubble popped and
signified the ships fate. It can be found exactly
where it sunk, and lies there waiting, to this very day.
||No, the fatal mistake was not filling the fuel bunkers before leaving Norway, and operating so far from land based air cover without a destroyer escort.
||I always thought that somehow a bathtub and some
roller-skates were involved. But that might have been
just ACME trying to sell more products.