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Persuasive Keyboard

I M gr8 how r u? ZAP!
  (+7, -4)
(+7, -4)
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Can't seem to break the LOL habit? Annoying smilies creeping into everything? Just prefer to hunt and peck, skipping most of the the vowels?

The Persuasive Keyboard takes care of that. Software / Hardware combination kit includes shocking keyboard and extensive AOL-slang database, updated daily via the Internet.

The keyboard has metal inserts in the keys, and works hand in hand with the character recognition software, sending progressively stronger shocks to the user as repeated AOL-slang is used. Starts as a mild tingle, however repeated offenses raise the shock value to more persuasive levels.

This device is sold as a quit-being-lazy aid, and is NOT a required device (hence no "punish people who do X", sorry further explaination was required). Similar to Nicorette Gum and Nicotine Inhalers, it is intended to help you break a dirty habit and nothing more.

Can also be used as an excercise machine, sending pulses of energy through your arms, making your arms, chest and stomach convulse, just like the strange fat-belts in the infomercials. Just imagine, type a dozen e-mails and receive the equivalent of a half hour aerobics session.

Mr Burns, Jul 12 2002

[link]






       It's a bit "punish people who do X", but in this case, they deserve it.
angel, Jul 12 2002
  

       lol ;) <! zap !> <AAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!>
polartomato, Jul 12 2002
  

       This would be far more fun if you were allowed to have a person (say, me) sitting at the other end and deciding when to administer a ZAP. That way I can punish bad grammar and general stupidity as well.   

       "Hi, I'm Kirsty! I like swimming and gossip! My measurements are..." ZAAP!
sadie, Jul 12 2002
  

       Nothing, in its place. Personally, I have no problem with LOL and the occasional smiley, but when I see "u r kewl!!!! thats gr8!!! ROTLFMAOSLTITIGTPM!!!!!!" I have to wonder about the person who typed it. There's no reason for it. Would you say that in conversation? Why not speak (type) in English? How much more difficult is 'you' than 'u'? Why 'kewl'? It's juvenile. This is not (recent evidence notwithstanding) a juvenile forum.
angel, Jul 12 2002
  

       *thumbwax lights the blowtorch, blowing them both to smithereens* lol! kewl!
thumbwax, Jul 12 2002
  

       [marked-for-expiry] This is NOT a chat room.
[ sctld ], Jul 12 2002
  

       [admin]
annziekat, _kt, thumbwax: Please clean up your annotations.
[ sctld ]: Please remove your MFE tag. Although the annotations have descended into chat the idea itself is not conversational.
st3f, Jul 12 2002
  

       I was referring to the annotations with my m-f-e.
[ sctld ], Jul 12 2002
  

       I think this should be deleted. It's just a rant/"punish all people who do X". We've had ideas before to zap computer users (e.g. Afro's Internet Pain), to do unpleasant things to people who can't spell, and several million rants against AOL speak. I've not MFD'd this because I see thumbwax and st3f have been here and found nothing at fault, so I'm reduced to saying this is a boring and unoriginal idea, and thcgenius should get over it.
pottedstu, Jul 12 2002
  

       Sorry- Not intended to "punish", per se. I was more looking into voluntary shock therapy for repeat offenders. Purchasing the keyboard is solely up to the user, I'm not forcing anyone to use it.   

       If I could get someone to zap me every time I light up a cigarette, it might actually persuade me to quit another rather nasty habit (a-la Stephen King's Cat's Eye)
Mr Burns, Jul 12 2002
  

       Rather than having the metal platelets on th keys, have electrodes connect directly to arms/abs/wherever, and have a continuous current (and a shutoff switch, peak current, etc.) The effects of negative reinforcement wear off more slowly than those of punishment (I think), and having stick-on electrodes like the 'fat-belts' (I still like 'muscular defribulators') allows for directed 'excercise'.   

       angel: what does ROTF<zap>LMAO<zap>SLTI<zap-zap>TIGTMP <Zap-zap-POP-fizz> stand for? I can only decipher about half the sub-anagrams.
nick_n_uit, Jul 13 2002
  
      
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