Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Raptor Lines

Dry Laundry in the Wind (even if it's not windy)
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Two large trained falcons or hawks that each have an end of a nylon rope secured to their leg with a swivel attachment. Set them each on a perch about 8-10 feet apart. Hang your laundry (very securely) on the rope. I must say this is only feasible with light clothing like t-shirts, undies, and socks, no jeans or towels. Send the falcons up to circle your abode in formation. Call them to return in about 45 minutes and your laundry should be dry.
xandram, Mar 29 2006

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       //Call them to return in about 45 minutes and your laundry should be dry//..and covered in bird shit :)
skinflaps, Mar 29 2006
  

       ...might be easier with two synchronised remote-controlled model aeroplanes ("Watch my socks and underwear loop the loop!")
hippo, Mar 29 2006
  

       haha ~~ I thought about the bird poop [skinflaps] but hey it's a halfbaked idea. <oh shit> There goes my undies.
xandram, Mar 29 2006
  

       Ray Bradbury's "Uncle Einar" did this, but he did the flying himself.
baconbrain, Mar 29 2006
  

       So [baconbrain] do you mean that *I* should try flying the laundry around myself?
xandram, Mar 29 2006
  

       This has been tried before, but the director was rarely satisfied with the manner in which the raptor delivered his lines.
normzone, Mar 29 2006
  

       this is great, can we do it with sparrows? its all I've got (and a virtual mini oddie thing)
po, Mar 29 2006
  

       Very bad this, leave the birds alone. {oh it's meant to be funny? haha, not.}
zeno, Mar 29 2006
  

       [partially tangental story] One guy was caught going 160 mph down a highway in a van. His excuse? "I just got it painted, and was trying to get it dry!"
DesertFox, Mar 30 2006
  

       [zeno] I am an animal lover and would in no way intend any harm to any animal. The large raptors are very strong and powerful. I'm sorry if you thought I was being *funny*- I thought I was being *creative*.
xandram, Mar 30 2006
  

       <putting [bigsleep] out of the misery of delivering a straight man line and waiting in vain for the correct funny man response..>   

       African or European?
ConsulFlaminicus, Mar 30 2006
  

       First raptor: "How long have you been waiting?"   

       Second raptor: "I've been in line for an hour."
normzone, Mar 30 2006
  

       well, looks like the raptors ate some of my buns from yesterday!
xandram, Mar 31 2006
  

       Hey, [rcarty], if the falcon doesn't come back, are my Tide-drenched bloomers loosed?
luxlucet, Mar 31 2006
  
      
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