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The Church of No-Pants

A fun, new religion
  (+46, -10)(+46, -10)(+46, -10)
(+46, -10)
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All right, it's like this. You have a church where people don't believe in wearing pants. That's all really... No big philosophical diputes, thelogicial chaoses, schisms, etc. Just don't wear pants.

And the world will be a better place...

We are not associated with The No-Pants Theatre Company. We regret any inconvience this may cause. Please talk to Father Alice on the way out to get your money back.

davros42, Sep 08 2000

Pockets for Nudists http://www.halfbake...ets_20for_20Nudists
There's less fuss at the baptismal font! [reensure, Sep 08 2000]

(??) The No-Pants Theatre Company http://www.geocities.com/Broadway/9930/
[dgeiser13, Sep 08 2000, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Pants Enslave Mankind http://www.egodrive...tipants/default.htm
Yes, it's true. [lucidish, Sep 08 2000, last modified Oct 21 2004]

(?) Epantsipation Clearinghouse http://www.spizzle.com/pants/
If you hate pants, you love Epantsipation. [frosted, Mar 23 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]

These guys have already baked this http://www.vatican.va/
[mrthingy, Mar 23 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Are you one? http://the-brights.net/
[mrthingy, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Mark your calendars http://www.nopantsday.com
Our first holiday [blahginger, Oct 04 2004]

for norm. bacon_20vest
[po, Mar 04 2006]

The 'No Pants' Subway ride 2009 http://www.abc15.co...AEuEIrJ88oWlYw.cspx
[hippo, Jan 12 2009]

The 'No Pants' Subway ride 2009 http://theridiculan...-and-loving-it.html
[hippo, Jan 12 2009]

More No-Pantosity this year http://www.examiner...l-invited-seriously
[Dub, Jan 06 2010]

http://news.bbc.co....mericas/8451565.stm [hippo, Jan 11 2010]

Belgium marks record with pants protest http://web.orange.c..._with_pants_protest
A world record 249 days without a government. [8th of 7, Feb 19 2011]

Still going strong... http://improveveryw...-pants-subway-ride/
...and spreading across the globe! [DrBob, Jan 11 2012]

...and with good reason. http://imgur.com/gallery/BzNf0AN
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Feb 22 2015]

[link]






       Details, please. How do they feel about skirts, kilts, sarongs, waders, jumpsuits, and camiknicks?
hello_c, Sep 08 2000
  

       Can I wear them as a protective device against temperature and abrasion?
centauri, Sep 08 2000
  

       Do we have something against *any* clothing below the waist or are underpants ok? Wearing only socks, shoes and a shirt would look silly, but if you can wear boxers then I think you have a shot at shutting down those Catholics.
blahginger, Sep 09 2000
  

       Kilts are in definitely (My grandfather was Scots) and therefore so are all kilt-like variations (skirts, sarongs, etc.)   

       Waders are out. So are jumpsuits.   

       Me and the bishops sat around and had a little discussion, it comes down to no clothing for the lower half of your body can descend below the knees (even the aforementioned kilts, skirts, and sarongs) so boxers and shorts are in... Sorry ladies, Capri's are out... You'll just have to miss the rest of that trend but trust me you'll be infintely more popular if you just stop wearing pants altogether...   

       Oh and I just realized that I got the word sichsm in the main desdription all dyslexic... Oops...   

       Any ideas for a patron saint for the church of no pants???
davros42, Sep 11 2000
  

       St Nicholas would seem the obvious choice.
Mickey the Fish, Sep 12 2000
  

       Why Saint Nicholas?
dgeiser13, Sep 12 2000
  

       Say "St Nicholas" v-e-r-y slowly.
hippo, Sep 12 2000
  

       I think I got the St. Nicholas thing. If I'm right, clue #2, it makes more sense for a Brit than an American.
Uncle Nutsy, Sep 12 2000
  

       I dunno about the acceptance of the skirt or the like...I went to Catholic school for 10 years and I don't think they'd appericate it if the Church of No Pants associated themselves with their school girls....then again, as a member I've been doing this for most of my life!
ncherill, Sep 12 2000
  

       All right then, Cardinal Nichole thinks we should ban skirts... All in favor...
davros42, Sep 14 2000
  

       Shouldn't be a problem with the Southern Baptists, they're pretty much all from the same Family anyway. And I don't just mean 'Church Family' either.
thumbwax, Sep 14 2000
  

       So would there be any organised celebration of our belief in no-pants or do we just wander around not wearing pants? Organised ceremonies involving pantlessness would be good for church solidarity and morale.
DrBob, Sep 14 2000
  

       Yeah, we should have a weekly meeting of some variety... How are Wednesday nights looking?   

       And I might add that we do not believe is proselytizing... People might get the wrong idea if people with no pants on went door to door looking for converts....
davros42, Sep 14 2000
  

       St. Peter
IBBen, Sep 14 2000
  

       What about St. Johns son?
thumbwax, Sep 15 2000
  

       Some other people have recurring wet dreams about finding themselves in church half-naked, maybe thats what this is all about...
mcscotland, Mar 23 2002
  

       what? they dreamed they fell in the font?
po, Mar 23 2002
  

       Once every few years, members are encouraged to go on a pilgrimage to Vegas.
RayfordSteele, Mar 25 2002
  

       being half jewish, I feel it is my duty to institute a synagogue of some-pants.
subgenius, Jul 05 2002
  

       "Shouldn't be a problem with the Southern Baptists, they're pretty much all from the same Family anyway. And I don't just mean 'Church Family' either."   

       I'm not Baptist, and if I said something like this about Muslims, African-Americans, or some other "acceptable" group . . . can you imagine the outcry? Your church seems to be very exclusive. If a visitor walks into your church wearing pants, will you have an extra kilt on hand for him? or just politely hand him a pair of sharp scissors? Should you find that you want to kneel in prayer, you'll want the carpet to be extra thick. I think that some of your rituals should involve tanning and thighmasters. If you would like to come to my church, some of us will be wearing pants, but you will be accepted, even pantsless. We meet Sundays and Wednesdays.
efarns, Jul 05 2002
  

       Well, I guess my home would be considered an outpost of the faith, then, although we do have a rule against cooking naked for safety reasons - apron is required.
normzone, Mar 04 2006
  

       I would gladly submit to this church's version of sharia law.
wagster, Mar 04 2006
  

       As an American, I still don't get the St. Nicholas thing.
notmarkflynn, Mar 04 2006
  

       This is a great idea, in fact, I'm not wearing pants right now. An eerie coincidence if you ask me.
MikeOxbig, Mar 12 2006
  

       I think it would be kind of cool for everyone to have to wear robes when they worship. Kind of like the school in Harry Potter.
ProblemSolver, Mar 30 2006
  

       you mean like monks? I used to have to dress up like a trappist monk when I worked in a Belgian themed restaurant. That was great fun, I'd go for any religion with such a cool outfit.   

       I think there might be some trans-atlantic confusion arising from this no pants religion, however. No Pants USian, has a different meaning to no pants UKian. Also, there is the St Nicholas US/UK confusion. In the UK it would need to be renamed No-Trousers Religion, that doesn't sound nearly as good. And in the US, the Patron St would have to be St Underpantsless. Actually, that does sound quite good...
daaisy, Mar 30 2006
  

       Ah, good old St.Underpantsless. He gave his life so that we might go commando.
DrBob, Mar 30 2006
  

       "Hi, I'm here to join the topless choir"...<oops wrong church>
xandram, Mar 30 2006
  

       Funny how such a simple idea imediately fragments into schism. Pro-kilt, Anti-kilt, Pro-organized worship, Anti-organized worship, Pro-proselytizing, Anti-proselytizing....Maybe if we had a god-like founder who everyone agreed could never be wrong he could bring us together!
digitalwarrior03, Mar 30 2006
  

       could i still wear my toga?
wakeNbake, Mar 31 2006
  

       Yeah! Who doesn't like wearing a toga?
whizzentag, Apr 28 2008
  

       Nice links hippo! It just goes to show that no matter how ridiculous the idea, somebody, somewhere will try to bake it.
DrBob, Jan 13 2009
  

       even though they are all, without exception, wearing pants...
pocmloc, Dec 07 2009
  

       I still love this idea, and the links. What a keeper.
blissmiss, Jan 06 2010
  

       Particularly bakeable this year because the tenth of January is a Sunday.
nineteenthly, Jan 06 2010
  

       {Sees [xandram], says 2 male hairies}
Dub, Jan 12 2011
  

       I was a part of No-Pants day this year in Hollywood. We need more occasions for this. LOTS more.
thejehosephat, Jan 15 2011
  

       Head for Belgium, then....   

       <link>
8th of 7, Feb 19 2011
  

       I just thought about this idea as I was getting ready for work - "no roommates, no children = no pants".
normzone, Apr 17 2013
  

       You should try working from home: no current need to wear pants + no current desire to wear pants = no pants.
Alterother, Apr 17 2013
  

       Yes, but you're on the right coast - isn't it freezing? Oh, and my other bathroom is a brewery.
normzone, Apr 17 2013
  

       Hmmm. Maybe you'd get more 'followers' down the street at the Bar of No Pants: that'd be an interesting dating venue!
Steamboat, Feb 22 2015
  
      
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