Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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bacon vest

protection for nudist chefs
 
(+13, -13)
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a vest made from bacon rashers in a pleasing design of alternate streaky and back bacon. stitched with bacon rind and seasoned to taste. perfect for the chef at the nudists’ colony barbie.

every splash and splat of boiling oil and fat will cook the vest to perfection. never again will the cook be left with nothing to eat.

po, Dec 02 2004

(???) Baked! (or is it fried?) http://user.tninet.se/~rcp650a/cover5.htm
Album cover from The Undertones' 'All Wrapped Up'. [DrBob, Dec 03 2004]

(?) pork/goose grease for colds. http://www.missabig...n/selection127.html
a nudist with a cold could only benefit from the application of pork grease... [po, Dec 03 2004]

Bacon Vest illustration http://picasaweb.go...5091503332426641522
back again. [dentworth, Jul 26 2007]

[DrBob]'s link re-established http://www.pergunna...ges/undertonesB.jpg
[normzone, Jul 28 2007]

The chef will also be wearing these, I presume... Steak_20Trousers
[theleopard, Jul 30 2007]

(?) Lady Gaga http://www.google.c...4AgSJ_blBcXte83bC6Q
[po, Sep 15 2010]

[link]






       F@**!n frying hell!...Yek!, Urrrggghhh! and Urrrggghhh! again!   

       po, I've told you before to log off when you've finnished, so that the kids can't use your account when your not around. Yek!
skinflaps, Dec 02 2004
  

       Are you back to [skinflaps]?   

       [po] Add a sausage casing for the male chef.
FarmerJohn, Dec 02 2004
  

       [FJ] Yep, and covered in rashers!
skinflaps, Dec 02 2004
  

       A new take on 'who wants to lick the spoon': 'Who wants to lick the bacon grease off.... the chef's naked body?'
brodie, Dec 02 2004
  

       & a dinky little onion rings pocket just in case.
po, Dec 02 2004
  

       nut cutlets?
po, Dec 03 2004
  

       beef curtains?
benfrost, Dec 03 2004
  

       Every purchase gets you a voucher for one session of hand relief from Rebecca Loos. Oink! Oink! Ssskkkkkwwwwweeeee!!!
ConsulFlaminicus, Dec 03 2004
  

       [Po] I'm shocked! You've never made me go 'Eeew' before.
wagster, Dec 03 2004
  

       Reads again.   

       F@**!n frying hell!...Yek!, Urrrggghhh! and Urrrggghhh! again!
skinflaps, Dec 03 2004
  

       Well - This certainly would be a must-have for the accident prone nude chef on your holiday list this year. I know everyone has knows someone like that.   

       //never again will the cook be left with nothing to eat.//
Thats right - nor will the bacteria living on the underside.
Letsbuildafort, Dec 03 2004
  

       nudist chefs like to shed the garment between courses and its quite likely that the garment is turned around each time like roasting on a spit.
po, Dec 03 2004
  

       I have a favorite fantasy about a nude chef, a well sculpted back side, broad shoulders, a neck I want to nibble on, pacing confidently about the kitchen in nothing but an apron....but jeez...... didya hafta go and make him smell like bacon grease!
dentworth, Dec 03 2004
  

       so what did he smell of?
po, Dec 03 2004
  

       well, probably a faint whiff of Armani, most of which is lingering on his neck, (drool....)
dentworth, Dec 03 2004
  

       not someone we know then...   

       is he famous?
po, Dec 04 2004
  

       well now that he smells like bacon, his whole image has just fried up, up in smoke. just a sizzling memory.
dentworth, Dec 04 2004
  

       "Doooogs!!"   

       They only ever found his left shin bone.
harderthanjesus, Dec 04 2004
  

       I *used* to like bacon. Now I don't think I'll ever be able to cook a batch without thinking about trying it on. <shudder>   

       surely the smell of fried bacon is one of *the* most glorious smells of all time.
po, Dec 04 2004
  

       It is [po]. Could you fax me some please?
wagster, Dec 04 2004
  

       RT says its possible - ok.
po, Dec 05 2004
  

       see link to illustration
dentworth, Feb 25 2005
  

       Everytime I see this, I think of the Visible Human Project, which to me just looks like Parma ham. Mmmm, Parma ham.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Feb 25 2005
  

       crickey, dent, that smacks something awfuk of S & M.
po, Feb 25 2005
  

       I dunno [po], it looks like a sketch of Alan Shearer hosting a barbecue.
([AWOL] denies all links with Newcastle United football team, and has never seen Alan Shearer at any social gathering)
BTW [po] I like the way you worked "smack" and "S&M" into the same sentence.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Feb 25 2005
  

       Er, um, all the splats and splashes of oil will not cook the bacon to perfection and if it did, the (semi)nude chef would be horribly burned. But you are a crazy one, [po], yes you are, and if a naked man scantily-clad in cooked meat will make you happy then by all means you shall have one.
k_sra, Feb 26 2005
  

       AWL, it kinda comes natural!   

       k_sra, get back to you on that. lovely to see you back - I'm sure I'm not alone on that.
po, Feb 26 2005
  

       <flutter of eyelids> Thanks, po. </foe>
k_sra, Feb 28 2005
  

       first I considered making his vest a little (lot) longer and covering his 'tender vittles', but then I decided to just make his tool a little bigger instead. good enuff?
dentworth, Feb 28 2005
  

       his? who you got in mind? little tool? did I miss something?
po, Feb 28 2005
  

       I meant the illustration. shucks now the joke is dead.
dentworth, Feb 28 2005
  

       I had to delete the illustration, I will try to reapply, po.
dentworth, Jul 26 2007
  

       this still makes me laugh!
dentworth, Jul 26 2007
  

       I say, is he streaking?
marklar, Jul 26 2007
  

       I think I must add this to my top 10!
po, Jul 26 2007
  

       Am eminently sensible idea. Maybe the dragons might be interested...
wagster, Jul 26 2007
  

       Am?
po, Jul 26 2007
  

       Veggies?
deoxyribonucleic, Jul 28 2007
  

       Sorry: an enimently sensible idea.
wagster, Jul 28 2007
  

       "Did you burn your elf when you were cooking?"   

       "Oh that, no, it's just a rasher"
marklar, Jul 29 2007
  

       <groan>
po, Jul 31 2007
  

       My wife's family tells of ancestors who would flee attackers in eastern Europe and wear "bacon vests" in order to more efficiently carry the racks, or something. They really called them "bacon vests."
partdavid, Jul 31 2007
  

       Which one of you is Lady GaGa - c'mon, 'fess up!
hippo, Sep 15 2010
  
      
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