Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Thermopolylae H-seal 300

You know...for gnomes. <br> Strap this on the front of your back!
 
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There we were... One against Fifty. Boy, did we fuck that one up.

No more!

The "Thermopylae H-seal 300" is a covert garden ornament spraying device. The reservoir of said device comprises of eight (that's right ladies, eight) sectioned HDPE/LDPE combination tanks, the external (HDPE) shape is of the desired form of the male abdominal musculature. As well as two extra tanks in the form of the Pectoralis Major muscles. The system is strapped (tightly) onto the user and forms the illusion of an immaculate "six pack" and "Pecs". Pressure is supplied to the system by the users *actual* belly, and man-boobs, against the soft LDPE being constrained against the hard outer shell of the "perfect body" HDPE exterior. You don't think it will work? Of corset it will.

Given the pressure supplied (given the girth of most gnomophobes), we could quite easily "atomise" (from ladies perfumery of yore, (atomiser-"convert to droplets") the HCl solution contained within the H-seal (Cl) reservoirs. Secreted by the *secreted* armpit nozzle, and excreted by the "bicep *rip*", the HCL solution will dowse the said garden ornament with an (Ideally) hydrous HCl solution. In extreme environs, this solution will be anhydrous, awaiting the next rain.

If you live in dry, and/or low rainfall situations, the Thermopylae H-Seal 300 comes with add-on Latissimus Dorsi water reservoirs. Hydrous Hcl makes mincemeat of the gnomeration of the enemy ranks (composed mainly of cement/clay).

Of course there is no bounty on a pile of muck. But to win without fighting is best.

4whom, Oct 19 2008

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       "Go, tell the Spartans ......."
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