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Vacuum Balloon Jousting

Not what it sounds like.
  (+2)
(+2)
  [vote for,
against]

Worm Experiences Ltd. is proud to be opening the world's first vacuum balloon jousting facility. Here, this new and exciting technology is used for the benefit of daredevils and thrill-seekers of all kinds.

At our huge 1.5 acre dome facility, jousters are weighed carefully. A large synthetic rubber balloon is then filled with the exact amount of helium needed to offset the jouster's weight. Thus, when the riders are harnessed to their balloons, they float neutrally in space. Before two jousters are released into the air inside the dome, they are each handed an extremely long blunted lance and a battery-powered vacuum cleaner.

When we ring the start buzzer, the two jousters (each fully helmeted, goggled and padded) point their vacuum cleaners upward and turn them on. This propels them upwards through suction. As there is no wind in the dome, the vacuum cleaners are the only factors propelling the jousters around. Once both jousters are in the air, they attempt to use their lance to hit targets hanging beneath the other jouster. There can be anywhere from one to ten targets, and they fall off after they are hit. After all of a jouster's targets have been hit, their harness disengages and they freefall into an elastic safety net. The other jouster wins, and for their victory, they are awarded a helium party balloon to take home.

DrWorm, May 16 2010

//A king of pedants is by definition male// No. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salic_law
The King of the Netherlands is sometimes a woman. [mouseposture, May 17 2010]

[link]






       Why have vacuum-cleaners *and* lances? Seems more elegant to combine the two, as an extra-long vacuum- cleaner pipe.
I would vote for this, except that "utilized" is a pet peeve of mine. What have you got against "used?"
mouseposture, May 16 2010
  

       I see one problem. If the weight/bouyancy is so delicately balanced as to facilitate movement with a vacuum, then the loss of weight from the targets falling from the harnessed jouster will cause said jouster to get stuck on the ceiling.   

       Unless the strength of the vacuum is such that it could lift the ten targets.
MikeD, May 16 2010
  

       [mouseposture]: You are the king of pedants. I'll change it. Technically, though, "utilize" isn't strictly an exact synonym of "use."   

       [MikeD]: Hmm. I have a solution! Each target could be neutrally buoyant with its own smaller balloon.
DrWorm, May 16 2010
  

       //king of pedants// Hah! You know how many people here would dispute that title if I tried to claim it? Anyway, [+]
mouseposture, May 17 2010
  

       //king of pedants//   

       A king of pedants would be someone who controls pedants, by compiling dictionaries and other authoritative sources. These are team efforts and there is no "one source to rule them all". Encyclopedias are the only comprehensive sources and they are drawn from more authoritative but specific sources.   

       If there was a king of pedants, he would need total control over what was considered correct. Unfortunately, this power would probably corrupt him, tempting him to lie for his personal gain. No-one who had an unhealthy obsession with truth could abide such an abomination.
Bad Jim, May 17 2010
  

       It's fortunate, then, that we are an agressive, hegemonising swarm, and already thoroughly corrupt(-ed).   

       [+] for the idea, and extra pastry if the //targets// are cats, or at the very least, cat-shaped.   

       // one source to rule them all //   

       Go on, finish the triplet ... are we taling "open source" here, or something darker and more evil, like MicroShit ?   

       <aside>   

       [Bad_Jim], you are a sexist, and we claim our five dollars.   

       Would you like to go for racial and religious prejudice as well ? Points make prizes ...   

       </aside>
8th of 7, May 17 2010
  

       [8th of 7], I deny sexism. A king of pedants is by definition male. You could have a queen of pedants though. Or actually you couldn't, for the same reason why you cannot have a king of pedants. I'm equally closed minded to either.   

       //are we taling "open source" here?//   

       I was talking about academic sources not source code, since I was discussing flesh and blood pedants, rather than the new kind of computerised pedant that won't let you post on a British forum until you have Americanised your spelling.
Bad Jim, May 17 2010
  

       // I deny sexism //   

       "E pur si muove ... "   

       // I'm equally closed minded to either //   

       Welcome, welcome.   

       // british //   

       <Crowd of Peasants with Torches and Pitchforks>   

       "British"   

       </Crowd of Peasants with Torches and Pitchforks>
8th of 7, May 17 2010
  

       Ok I've capitalised it. Please call off the lynch mob.
Bad Jim, May 17 2010
  

       No, you've done it now. Only blood can absolve the sin. Bring forth the Wicker Man ...   

       Although we do accept all major credit and charge cards ...
8th of 7, May 17 2010
  

       //These are team efforts and there is no "one source to rule them all"//
Nowadays yes. By [Bad_Jim]'s definition*, Samuel Johnson was the king of pedants, and there'll never be another.
  

       *An exceedingly pedantic definition, ca va sans dire.   

       So, can I maybe get a seat on the regency council of pedants?
mouseposture, May 17 2010
  

       We suspect that "regency" will need a capital "R", actually ... and council will demand a capital "C", as they are both Proper Nouns in this context.
8th of 7, May 17 2010
  

       //can I maybe get a seat on the regency council of pedants?//   

       Potentially yes. Although my vote is currently going to [8th of 7]
Bad Jim, May 17 2010
  

       "Like taking candy from a baby ...."
8th of 7, May 17 2010
  

       //Proper Nouns// is not a proper noun. Why are you capitalizing it? This is some sort of trap, isn't it?
... and [8th_of_7] would require seats, plural.
mouseposture, May 17 2010
  

       // This is some sort of trap, isn't it? //   

       You have a nasty, suspicious mind.   

       You're quite correct. That doesn't mean that you still don't have a nasty, suspicious mind, though...   

       Yes, many seats.
8th of 7, May 17 2010
  

       //You know how many people here would dispute that title if I tried to claim it?//
We now have an answer to my original question: exactly 8/7ths people.
mouseposture, May 17 2010
  

       ... which works out as 1.142857142857142857 1428571428571 of the population of the HB.   

       Approximately.   

       (By the way, isn't it sooo cute the way that fraction recurs ? Maybe you could deduce something from that .... )   

       If annyone DARES say "Who ate all the pi's", well, just don't, OK ?
8th of 7, May 17 2010
  
      
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