Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Zombie Motorists

Solution to obnoxious motorist behaviour
  (+4, -2)
(+4, -2)
  [vote for,

Zombies never get mad. Zombies never use mobile phones, take their eyes off their prey to change the CD, or argue with people in the back seats. They just walk forwards, undistractable. Zombies would be the perfect motorists.

We need to turn motorists into zombies. When they get in the car, an automatic drug injection suppresses all higher brain functions: consciousness, emotion, curiosity, the capacity for distraction. All that is left is the desire to get to the destination, which zombies seem to have. When they arrive, an antidote is administered, and they return to their full humanity.

Perhaps it would be necessary to have large supplies of brains/pancreases/hearts or whatever at the destination to ensure the zombie heads there. Perhaps they could do without. But I suggest drugs companies start research immediately. I for one would be happy to fall into a deep trance on the daily commute; I come dangerously close as it is.

pottedstu, Nov 28 2001

Mass Zombification http://www.halfbake...ass_20Zombification
A ready source of undistractable drivers. [Aristotle, Nov 28 2001]

This didn't happen to be inspired here, did it? http://www.halfbake...one_2ftag_20_23_27s
[lewisgirl, Nov 28 2001]


       As you say, zombies are undistractable. So those red stop lights are unlikely to stop them from going straight on and causing huge pile-ups.
CoolerKing, Nov 28 2001

       CoolerKing: Zombies are able to respond to simple stimuli like fire, which produce fear and cowering, so we just need to replace stop lights with blazing torches.
pottedstu, Nov 28 2001

       You could deal with their disregard for law through discerning applications of consecrated ground, religious rituals and clergy deployed as traffic police.
Aristotle, Nov 28 2001

       "...All that is left is the desire to get to the destination,.." - and eat brains, surely?
hippo, Nov 28 2001

       lewisgirl: My apologies for not acknowledging your contribution, with your idea of forcibly Prozacking angry motorists. I just took it several hundred steps further. Have a delicious and stylish croissant shoe for your next party/idea.
pottedstu, Nov 28 2001

       Oh, no! As it is, I live in a relatively benign traffic environment. But this idea will clog the roads around my house for miles.
beauxeault, Nov 28 2001

       [beauxeault] why would that be? would zombies somehow know the better routes?
po, Nov 28 2001

       po, blissmiss: Why, it's because zombies always head for brains, right?   

beauxeault, Nov 28 2001

       yeah, its quantity they want not quality
po, Nov 28 2001

       Baked. We already have zombified motorists.   

       Just look for the Ohio license plate.
RayfordSteele, Jan 01 2002

       I think he has an english accent UB
po, Jan 01 2002

       Actually no. I just work at Ford. Won't buy one, though.   

       Really, it's only a _coincidence_ that their stock tanked the day they hired me... no.... really.... ;-)
RayfordSteele, Jan 07 2002

       "Send more cops. The last ones were delicious."
MadMax's Brother, Aug 16 2002

       yes I vote for, except that most drivers are already zombies. They see a speed limit of 30mph means drive at 30 mph. single carriageway roads in the UK are usually limited to 60mph, but there are very few places or days when the geometry and climate would suggest to a prudent driver that 60mph is appropriate. Local authorities, make things worse by imposing higher limits than they should. So I've voted neutral.   

uked, Dec 27 2002


       By really baked drivers.
rapid transit, May 24 2003


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