Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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battery hens

Put virtual reality helmets on battery hens on treadmills.
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Say you put a virtual reality helmet on a battery hen, and fed it the the images necessary for it to have a psychologically satisfying life, and placed it on a treadmill such that it could roam and graze without leaving the cage,

WOULD THE BATTERY HENS BE BETTER OFF THAN THEY ARE NOW ?

Zed, Mar 04 2003

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       NO, THEY WOULD NOT.
angel, Mar 04 2003
  

       Depends. For egg sample, if they're looking at *hot* chicks, is that necessarily a good thing? I mean, seeing your cousin covered with barbeque sauce turning on an open barbeque spit might make you go cuckoo.
thumbwax, Mar 04 2003
  

       <pedant police> Barbecue<p.p.>   

       How is this cheeper than letting them roam free?
egbert, Mar 04 2003
  

       Dunno about the hens, but add some little generators and some chicken wire to the treadmills, and you could get power from the battery.
beauxeault, Mar 04 2003
  

       When a chicken’s life flashes before its eyes, I wonder if it remembers getting laid.   

       Don't egg him on.
8th of 7, Mar 04 2003
  

       Gotta establish a pecking order first.   

       don't attempt to put on the helmet until you see the white of their eyes.
po, Mar 04 2003
  

       One may think that having to run on a treadmill with a helmet strapped over the eyes would be comforting. But it’s not.
Amos Kito, Mar 04 2003
  

       Come on now Zed, fess up. You got the idea for this from watching The Matrix, and Chicken Run, back to back didn't you?   

       At breakfast you might ask for a salt and battery eggs.
FarmerJohn, Mar 04 2003
  

       You might explain the term "battery hen" for everyone, it is not commonly used in the US.
krelnik, Mar 04 2003
  

       'Battery hens' are hens raised for egg production, which are kept permanently in small (450 sq cm) wire-mesh cages. Their advantage is that the eggs so produced are significantly cheaper than those produced by humane methods. The disadvantage to the purchaser is that the eggs are tasteless, although some people seem not to care. The disadvantage to the hens should be obvious, although the same people also seem not to care.
angel, Mar 04 2003
  

       Veal crates are illegal in UK now, and I thus find my elf able to eat veal, in the knowledge that the animal was raised and slaughtered humanely. Battery cages are not illegal, so I buy only free-range eggs (produced by hens which are free to roam, feed and perch).
angel, Mar 04 2003
  

       <monty burns> Eggggseeeeeellllennntt! </monty burns>
Cedar Park, Mar 04 2003
  

       //barbeque//
// <pedant police> Barbecue<p.p.>//
bbq show on bbc
thumbwax, Mar 04 2003
  

       //barbeque//
<texan pedant sherriff> -BQ </tps>
lurch, Mar 04 2003
  

       <pedant police> Texan<p.p.>   

       You're tern.
egbert, Mar 04 2003
  

       So it's not chickens that lay "AA"s then. I thought perhaps it was an offshoot of UB's giant chicken soda machine.
waugsqueke, Mar 04 2003
  

       Only Grade AAs.
FarmerJohn, Mar 05 2003
  

       power source.
skinflaps, Mar 05 2003
  

       <shirley>_bq</shirley>
thumbwax, Mar 05 2003
  

       B-B-Q 9pm tonite. Whole chicken roast.
egbert, Mar 05 2003
  
      
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