h a l f b a k e r yThe embarrassing drunkard uncle of invention.
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pen pals
a trained bird at your desk watching over your pen. | |
who is it that nicks your pen? who does that?
well, in future with these highly trained, low maintenance birds perched somewhere between the stapler and the phone, any hand that descends on your pen gets a nasty stab with its beak. possibly accompanied by a squawk of “oh no, you don’t my hearty”.
the culprit is scarred for life, well a week or two and everyone will know the heinous sin that he or she has committed. sack them I say
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Aw, po, but your pens are so lovely and shiny, while mine are all scabby and chewed! Think I'll wear gloves to work from now on.... |
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I considerately place a daily offering to the pen nickers. After all, one mustn't let one's nickers down, must one? |
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Then again, if the bird were there, I suppose it wouldn't be so bad if a bird let my nickers down. |
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there's always one that brings down the tone of the place, tut tut |
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Keep your pen behind your ear, po. Only the most foolhardy would venture there in search of a pen.
Well said, Peter. I can see that beauxeault's a rank amateur when it comes to smut. |
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I think a autonomous thermal tracking staple gun would be more persuasive, and easier to clean up after. Also considering what some exotic birds cost, maybe even cheaper. You Aussies will laugh at what my Rose Breasted Cockatoo cost. |
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surely after you have placed the aforementioned bird it will attack every hand that decends upon your pen including your own, or does it have telepathy and recognise that it's you?:P |
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What, I can't post a pun? |
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Just to clarify, I may be American, but I attended "2nd and 3rd form" at a British school, so I'm quite aware of the proper spelling of "knickers." I was actually quite proud of having been able to construct a pun in a foreign language. |
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Started to read this semi-seriously but now you got me laughing. The idea of a trained bird to flit about finding and returning your pen to you gets a croissant; nevermorethelesss, for all the furor that would create, ¯po, make it a cream-filled pænache! |
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I think the bird should be of the more ominous breeds, like a vulture, perhaps. He could come in handy around review time, too. |
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I don't work in a *reasonably smart business place* M.
I work in an underfunded state primary school & have to beg the stationery person for a limited supply of cheap biros. |
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Croissie for you po. This heinous crime of pen-napping must stop. However this won't work if there are "office cats" on staff. Then there will be the equally heinous crime of pen-pal-napping. |
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I had a poisonous snake stashed on my desk. |
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My wife and I used to save all our
crapped-out ballpoints which she kept
in a holder on her desk. After some
months (nearly a year, I think) the rep
was established and the dead pens
stopped walking off. She was then able
to keep her *real* pens conveniently on
her desk with impunity. |
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