Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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pen pals

a trained bird at your desk watching over your pen.
  (+14, -2)(+14, -2)
(+14, -2)
  [vote for,

who is it that nicks your pen? who does that? well, in future with these highly trained, low maintenance birds perched somewhere between the stapler and the phone, any hand that descends on your pen gets a nasty stab with its beak. possibly accompanied by a squawk of “oh no, you don’t my hearty”. the culprit is scarred for life, well a week or two and everyone will know the heinous sin that he or she has committed. sack them I say
po, Mar 28 2002


       Aw, po, but your pens are so lovely and shiny, while mine are all scabby and chewed! Think I'll wear gloves to work from now on....
salachair, Mar 28 2002

       I considerately place a daily offering to the pen nickers. After all, one mustn't let one's nickers down, must one?
beauxeault, Mar 28 2002

       Then again, if the bird were there, I suppose it wouldn't be so bad if a bird let my nickers down.
beauxeault, Mar 28 2002

       there's always one that brings down the tone of the place, tut tut
po, Mar 28 2002

       Keep your pen behind your ear, po. Only the most foolhardy would venture there in search of a pen.

Well said, Peter. I can see that beauxeault's a rank amateur when it comes to smut.
DrBob, Mar 28 2002

       I think a autonomous thermal tracking staple gun would be more persuasive, and easier to clean up after. Also considering what some exotic birds cost, maybe even cheaper. You Aussies will laugh at what my Rose Breasted Cockatoo cost.
dag, Mar 28 2002

       surely after you have placed the aforementioned bird it will attack every hand that decends upon your pen including your own, or does it have telepathy and recognise that it's you?:P
kaz, Mar 28 2002

       What, I can't post a pun?
beauxeault, Mar 28 2002

       Just to clarify, I may be American, but I attended "2nd and 3rd form" at a British school, so I'm quite aware of the proper spelling of "knickers." I was actually quite proud of having been able to construct a pun in a foreign language.
beauxeault, Mar 28 2002

       Fair enough.
beauxeault, Mar 28 2002

       Started to read this semi-seriously but now you got me laughing. The idea of a trained bird to flit about finding and returning your pen to you gets a croissant; nevermorethelesss, for all the furor that would create, ¯po, make it a cream-filled pænache!
reensure, Mar 28 2002

       I think the bird should be of the more ominous breeds, like a vulture, perhaps. He could come in handy around review time, too.
RayfordSteele, Mar 29 2002

       I don't work in a *reasonably smart business place* M. I work in an underfunded state primary school & have to beg the stationery person for a limited supply of cheap biros.
po, Mar 29 2002

       Croissie for you po. This heinous crime of pen-napping must stop. However this won't work if there are "office cats" on staff. Then there will be the equally heinous crime of pen-pal-napping.
bluerowan, Mar 31 2002

       I had a poisonous snake stashed on my desk.
finflazo, Aug 19 2004

       My wife and I used to save all our crapped-out ballpoints which she kept in a holder on her desk. After some months (nearly a year, I think) the rep was established and the dead pens stopped walking off. She was then able to keep her *real* pens conveniently on her desk with impunity.
bpilot, Aug 20 2004


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