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The phrase 'crumpled heap' comes to mind.
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Driving down the road, I was thinking of how I was sailing the seas of the corporate life. Meeting here, conference call there, wading between moorings for coffee... Well, then I thought, how could I show my mariner side without the tacky bumper stickers cluttering my car that say stuff like, "If you
give a man a fish he eats for a day, if you teach him to fish, you get rid of him for a day" or "I'd rather be sailing" or what not. Well, lets put sails on them! Lets add sails to the antenna. This way we wouldn't need to have "power" antennas that take a long time to raise and lower. What if there was a sudden need for a car wash and you forget to lower the antenna? You are down 1 antenna and you might have to pay to fix the car wash machine.
There would be two rings or clips welded to the antenna that the sail would attach to. The sail would have little eyelets so that you could attach it to the rings on the antenna and would be made of some durable material to withstand the rigors of traveling down the road at high speeds. The antenna would be fastened to the car by a special swivel bracket to let the antenna move from a lowered to a raised position.
At park the antenna would be flat against the car hood or trunk/boot. Once the car started going down the road the sail would fill and start to rise, like a kite. I figure that 15-20mph should provide enough lift for a light antenna. Once the antenna was fully raised a locking mechanism in the bracket would secure it in an upraised position. I imagine the locking compartment would look something like a ballpoint pen where you have to click the point out and in, so that if you stop and need to put it down all you have to do is click it and lay it flat.
The sail could be any design you want, a flag to show your heritage, a smiley face, a finger (you know which one), Jolly Roger, what have you. I can imagine companies giving these away with their logo on it, or buying a cd with band logo on an antenna flag as a promo. Radio stations having contests with their stations call letters on it, AOL stuffing them in with their free 1000 hour cds, door prizes, etc. Different shaped ones too, can you imagine seeing a car running down the road with a pair of underwear hanging off the antenna? How about a pair of socks? Now it would be an everyday thing.
But this is for HAM antennas [barnzenen, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
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||If there's one thing in life that I like to do, its putting flying blindspots on the front of my car.
||So the top of your antenna is in front of your car? It's not above your car? How many people have you seen out there that have antenna toppers on their antennas? Do they consider them blindspots? No, I've got one myself, it's never caused me problems. I don't see how putting basically a flag on the top of your antenna would make a "new" blindspot appear.
||When many patriotic Americans began putting flags on their antennas, or otherwise attaching them to the exterior of their cars, it was kind of absurd because they made these ridiculously loud and silly flapping noises when the cars travelled at high speeds. Of course, that probably wouldn't be as much of an issue with a sail, and it might even be part of the desired effect- but it might be worth it to make it out of some semi-porous material, so that the flapping isn't QUITE so bad.
||Some (mosly older) cars have the antenna fixed in an angled position (like a boat's antenna.) Thus attaching a sail would be useless on an angle (I estimate it was an 55 degree angle for the antenna's angle.)