Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Tastes richer, less filling.

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Carp Trap

automatically yank invasive carp from waterways
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A galvanized metal wheel placed in shallow streams near lakes and rivers in spring, where invasive carp commonly move to spawn. The wheel has 3 or 4 arms. At any one time, one arm is in the water. At the end of the arm is a kind of tube-trap through which carp will swim. (Most fish will not swim though such a tube, but here, the carp's invasive abilities are used against it.) Once a carp rubs against the trap, it springs shut. The thrashing motion of the fish (which can be quite violent) is captured through a series of levers and translated into rotation of the wheel, lifting the fish out of the water. Once out of the water, the thrashing increases, and the fish is lifted over, then released onto land, into a pile or container of dead carp. The cycle continues.

Dead fish collected for fertilizer or low grade dog food production.

napoleonbag, May 15 2008

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       Are carp edible for humans ?
8th of 7, May 15 2008
  

       When not in use, is it covered by a carp tarp?
david_scothern, May 15 2008
  

       It could be fitted with a little horn which sounds whenever it catches a fish. Then you'd get a carp parp.
8th of 7, May 15 2008
  

       ...or the fertilizer made in the crap trap?
xandram, May 15 2008
  

       Hold on. I said hold on.   

       You're telling me that carp will swim through tubes whereas other carp will not? This I find hard to believe.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 15 2008
  

       re: MB, I speak of local carp varieties, which came to this area from the East long ago. Local carp can survive out of water for hours, push through shallow water during the spring, and are known for their preference of odd culverts and such. They are even found in the ditches here in the spring, having flopped for miles through flooded fields and cow creeks which normally freeze in the winter. Australian or other varieties of carp may not be this adventurous, but I assure you midwestern American carp will swim through such a tube if given a chance. Walleye, pike, and bass don't care for this kind of nonsense, and small panfish would be too small to thrash this machine into action, even assuming they had migrated to the location of the trap, which is unlikely.
napoleonbag, May 15 2008
  

       This is beautiful. A fish-powered fish-killer... and it works on Carp! You hae no idea how glad I am that some species of carp may die from the use of this machine.   

       My only concern: Local Carp? You say that these may also enter the trap, and suffer the same treatment, so it seems to me that the American carp are expected to die, while the "local carp" can flop to safety.   

       Being from America, I can assure you that our local carp can flop for quite a while too. You may need to check your figures for survival rates, or develop some finer grained sorting mechanism to tell the two apart.
ye_river_xiv, May 16 2008
  

       I thought this was going to be some kind of waterproof sheet to cover a big pile of poo.
hippo, May 16 2008
  

       I once sat down to dinner with a bunch of europeans who had prepared something special; a platter of fish. I didn't speak their funny language, and so didn't know what it was. I had a piece and it was good. So I had another. They offered me more. Soon I'd eaten pretty much all of it.   

       They were very friendly, in fact, they were letting me sleep in their bed -- the master bed. This is how friendly carp-eating europeans are.   

       Later I found out that carp was taken from a pond near the village; it was managed by mayor, and there was a limited number of fish, so they were special and an expensive treat.   

       They also ate a type of fried bacon made only out of fat, and drank a clear grappa made out of crushed wine vines.   

       And their daughter -- wow. Supple, young, soft and thickly covered with a layer of hair that reached from knee to sternum.   

       I miss Europe sometimes.   

       Anyways, all that to say, yes people do eat carp, and one of those people was me, and I quite enjoyed it.
mylodon, May 16 2008
  

       //midwestern American carp will swim through such a tube//
Why the mechanism? The trap doesn't differentiate carp, river otter, kingfisher, whatever might touch the trip lever. Instead, have your tube routed directly to the fish dump.
  

       However, I would like your automatic fish killing machine if it were improved to catch, conk the fish on the head, gut, fillet, batter, drop onto a carcoal grill, flip, and serve. Then the occasional otter and kingfisher might be less of an issue.
Amos Kito, May 16 2008
  
      
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