Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Centre parting Christmas Cracker

Doubleplus good
  [vote for,

Conventional Christmas crackers inevitably have a" winner" and a "loser"; one participant misses out on the naff toy, the flimsy paper hat, and the bit of paper with the ancient non-funny joke on it.

Now from BorgCo, the new centre parting cracker does away with that- everyone's a winner. The cracker is 50% longer than a regular device and has two payloads; it's designed to separate halfway along its length so that each puller gets a section with something in it. To make sure it separates cleanly, the "snap" is based on a .22LR blank.

For those desiring to retain the lucky/unlucky aspect, a variety will be available where one end contains the gift, paper hat and motto, while in the other half has the snap (quite a powerful device) actually inside the "handle" and contains a plastic packet of foul-smelling dye, resulting in painful superficial burns to the hand, ruined clothing, and a distasteful odour.

The crackers are twice as expensive as normal ones, but then again you only need half as many.

8th of 7, Dec 16 2013

Triple Cracker Triple_20Cracker
Prior Art acknowledged. [8th of 7, Dec 16 2013]

Christmas cracker http://en.wikipedia...i/Christmas_cracker
For the enlightenment of such poor benighted Colonials who miss out on such things ... [8th of 7, Dec 16 2013]

Explosive crackers http://www.youtube....watch?v=9m6ul_jpebc
With a custard payload [TomP, Dec 16 2013]


       "Sighs", we need Christmas Crackers here in the US.
blissmiss, Dec 16 2013

       //For those desiring to retain the lucky/unlucky aspect...// - surely just replace the .22 blank with a live round?
hippo, Dec 16 2013

       That's the DeLuxe version
8th of 7, Dec 16 2013

       Actually there's probably an idea there - the "Russian Roulette Christmas Cracker" - festive fun for all the family, except for the one in six chance of a painful death.
hippo, Dec 16 2013

       You should post that …
8th of 7, Dec 16 2013

       That's okay 8th, here in the colonies they allow us real guns to play with.
RayfordSteele, Dec 16 2013

       James May demonstrated a similar batch to these: a small explosive charge blasts the cracker open and deploys such diverse gifts as maggots, custard or a hefty wad of cash [link].
TomP, Dec 16 2013

       In this day and age, it might need guide notes for the runes. I dunno, kids these days, not like back in the bear shirt days..
not_morrison_rm, Dec 16 2013

       [8th] and [bliss] - I'm pretty sure that Christmas crackers are fairly common in the US. There was (and probably still is) something of a fad for them over there. So, if you really do ("sighs") feel that you need them, you should be able to find them.   

       I do wonder, though, what sort of jokes appear in USarian Christmas crackers. Those in English crackers fall into a very specialised sub-genre of humour, which is a tradition in its own right. I can only imagine that Americans would be perplexed.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 16 2013

       // perplexed //   

       Sp. "baffled".   

       Particularly since their concept of "humour" seems to pivot round government by a system where the Executive and Legislature can never agree a budget, but instead perform a bizarre joust where each accuses the other of bad faith while collectively borrowing more money than the rest of the world put together, with no thought of how to pay it back.   

       Although it's more of a tragedy than a comedy, really.
8th of 7, Dec 16 2013

       [8th], I don't think we're entitled to ridicule their political system when we're comparing things with English cracker jokes. Under any other circumstances...
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 16 2013


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