Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Fake Upskirt Welcome Mat

Record Reactions As Performance Art
  (+3, -1)
(+3, -1)
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Place a large welcome mat on the porch in front of a door where mostly ladies are likely to come calling. When they ring the doorbell, a little video screen in front of them lights up that says, in extremely small font they will strain to read, "...you are standing on an upskirt photography mat...". (But it will just be an ordinary mat)

Record the reaction on a camcorder discretely mounted off to the side; then use special software to morph the most interesting people's movements into one contiguous flowing dance. Dub in appropriate music, the beat of which closely matches the movement on the screen.

The results from someplace like Omaha, Nebraska should be vastly different from the results in San Fransisco, California.

(Thankfully, we won't REALLY be subjected to what might be under skirts in San Fransisco...)

Grogster, Sep 05 2011

gays in San Fran http://ask.yahoo.com/20060502.html
[xandram, Sep 05 2011]


       I don't understand the San Fransisco reference. Why is there likely to be a difference? It doesn't make sense!
zen_tom, Sep 05 2011

       I think that's a "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" qualification.
FlyingToaster, Sep 05 2011

       //Why is there likely to be a difference?// probably a veiled reference to the number of transvestites living there
xenzag, Sep 05 2011

       [zen tom] I think he's referring to the high numbers of cross dressers and/or gay men in San Fran.
xandram, Sep 05 2011

       OK [xenzag] we commented at the same time!! haha Good Morning to you! xox
xandram, Sep 05 2011

       <blush> Thanks guys - Transversely, is there some high womanly-enskirtedness index associated with Omaha, Nebraska? (I expect not, just that it's some "Normal" location, right?)   

       Sorry Grogster, I actually quite like the general idea (making people think that one thing is happening, while you're really recording something completely different) but that last joke left me cold - I can't complain, the title should have been enough for me to know what to expect. So, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and give you a [] neutral.
zen_tom, Sep 05 2011

       Okie dokie, [zen_tom], point taken; [BAD GROG! some might say] -- I am showing my own bias in not wanting to either see it or contribute to more of it. I am in it for the morphed film at the end, none of which will show either flavor of genitalia even if someone just shows up naked; I am using editorial and artistic license in trimming out the "good bits."   

       As an aside, I also think it would be a fun experiment to set up the exact same mat/video screen/camcorder where GUYS are more likely to show up.
Grogster, Sep 05 2011

       And here I was thinking that Grogster was suggesting the womenfolk in Omaha Nebrasksa were more likely to be the conservative and modest types that get really upset about anyone filming up their skirts, whereas the San Francisco women folk might contain a higher percentage of the liberal, liberated, and artistic types that might enjoy helping out an art project.   

       Having been to San Francisco a couple of time, I can assure you that the percentage of noticeable transvestites does not seem to be much higher than in any other city... At least... on the public streets and at the times I was there.
ye_river_xiv, Sep 05 2011

       //womenfolk in Omaha Nebraska were more likely to be the conservative and modest types//   

       Are you kidding? Omaha is Mecca for "Girls Gone Wild" producers...   

       //noticeable transvestites [...] at the times I was there//   

       They were hiding in the trees because they knew you were coming...
Grogster, Sep 05 2011


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