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Harpoon the Moon

Make tide charts obsolete
 
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The tide cycle certainly must be one of the greatest pet peeves of surfers, clammers and shorebirds alike. Nature is constantly changing that ideal time of day to be at the beach- for catching waves, clams, or other things necessary to survival.

Things don't have to be this way. By altering the orbit of the moon, the cycle could be regulated to our liking. This could be achieved by simply launching a massive harpoon, attached to a length of strong rope or the like, at the moon and anchoring the rope to a point on Earth. This point could be stationary or part of a mobile anchoring system circling the globe and allowing for easier domestication of the moon.

Eventually, the rope could even be used to transport things to the moon (McDonald's?) and back (rocks?)

bricoleur, Feb 10 2003

The yo-yo trick moon http://www.halfbake...e_20energy_20source
I miss globaltourniquet. We had some good times together. [thumbwax, Oct 17 2004]

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       Wouldn't the Earth's rotation cause the rope to get all tangled up and drag the moon into us? + either way...
snarfyguy, Feb 10 2003
  

       I don't know any specific example, but from what I know about the way nature works, I'd bet there are species, perhaps even entire ecosystems that depend on the moon's periodicity being out of phase with daylight.
beauxeault, Feb 10 2003
  

       Isn't this discrimination against Werewolves ?
8th of 7, Feb 10 2003
  

       But [beaux], what about all those species that relied upon the moon being exactly in phase with daylight who tried to evolve but became extinct?
PeterSilly, Feb 10 2003
  

       too late now.
beauxeault, Feb 10 2003
  

       If we trapped the moon in it's full phase, werewolves would not have to worry about changing. Also we'd have spring tides all the time and make planning how high to build sea walls easier.
oneoffdave, Feb 10 2003
  

       Sadly we can't trap the moon in its full phase, because it's always full when it's at the opposite side of the earth from the sun, and to keep it there, the moon would have to orbit the sun a little further out than us, but with the same orbital period. This is, according to Kepler's theories of planetary motion, impossible.   

       This does have the advantage of ensuring we won't get werewolves all the time, but equally means we can't position the moon inside the earth's orbit so as to avoid werewolves entirely.
pottedstu, Feb 10 2003
  

       At the time of this annotation, this idea has not been fishboned to hell. Why?
RoboBust, Feb 10 2003
  

       Because few people understand that to do this, IF the rope didn't break (and it would; after all, the moon weighs HOW much?), the moon would either start rotating the other way (because it would have to move more slowly than the earth, being further out), causing massive ecological chaos, or (more likely) crash into the earth. How worth it would this then be?   

       Wish I had a machine-gun fishboner.
galukalock, Feb 10 2003
  

       Species yes, but also cities that rely on tidal power. I fishboned this one because a harpoon big enough to impact the moon from the earth, with enough force to drive it beneath the surface of the moon where in it could get a foot hold would likely crack it in half, distroying it's axial rotation and likely send one or both halfs hurdeling into the earth killing each and every one of us. (nothing like apocalypse to earn a fishbone)
LED Prism, Jun 18 2003
  

       Yes, silly humans try to do that. Harpoon it in the eye for best results.
sartep, Jun 18 2003
  

       LED prism: I don't think the moon is a ball of glass that will crack in 1/2, if so wouldn't you be worried that a 20km deep hole in the earth might have a similar effect?
PiledHigherandDeeper, Jun 18 2003
  
      
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