Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Hitting the Head on the Nail

fancy fingers do-it-yourself
  (+10, -5)
(+10, -5)
  [vote for,

Remember a few weeks after a picture hanging or other home improvement involving a hammer when purple and black splotches have migrated to the middle of a thumb or pinkie nail? Well, this bizarre gadget resembling a tiny guillotine will cause the same bruising but with much more precision and elegance, and they won’t wash or wear off.

First choose your motif such as a silhouette, emoticon or maybe a love letter (I LOVE YOU would fit well on the ten fingernails) among the set’s wide collection of letters, numbers and images and insert the type upside down in the nail nailer. Contract the spring with the lever, insert the proper finger under the type and press the trigger.

Yes, there will be excruciating pain for five minutes, but then only a tender throbbing will remain to remind you of the pleasing forms soon to appear beyond your cuticles.

FarmerJohn, Jun 01 2005


       Vote against masochism? Not a chance! [+]
shapu, Jun 01 2005

       sham pain - yes
real pain - no.
po, Jun 01 2005

       hmmm, this is making "booger imprinted tissues" look appealing.
dentworth, Jun 01 2005

       Precise + elegant + bruising = bun.
//real pain - no// What is it with women and pain? Just can't take it without gas-and-air. Wimps, the lot of ya.
coprocephalous, Jun 01 2005

       oh yeah? I opted for labor pains 3 times in 10 years, how about you, [copro]?
dentworth, Jun 01 2005

       Labour pains? Pah. Oh, it probably smarts a bit, I grant you, but really nothing like a bloke's head cold or a really bad splinter - they *really* hurt.
coprocephalous, Jun 01 2005

       The thing about labour pain is that it's a pain no chap will ever be able to experience - a bit like the pain of male flu from a female perspective.

Any progressive discussion of the gender division with respect to pain tolerance can't include an experience which the other gender cannot undergo. What is required instead is a lab full of sharp things and [po] and [coprocephalous] strapped to opposite tables with an escape button for each and the pride of their respective genders at stake.

Later: [notices [po] and [copro] deleting/amending their original annos] Ha! You're both big softies!

The idea's great [FarmerJ], as usual [+].
DocBrown, Jun 01 2005

       they dragged me kickin' and screamin' (and slightly tipsy I may add) into the labour ward 3 times in 3 years.
po, Jun 01 2005

       I hate to encourage this sort of thing ... it leads to branding and etching art on irises with a tiny laser. [-]
Soterios, Jun 01 2005

       3 times in 3 years [po]? Can't have been that bad then, eh? I kid, I kid. And you have kids. So that makes us even. Now where is [copro], I have a nice big table all ready for both of you...
DocBrown, Jun 01 2005

       Like I said, childbirth - it's nothin' - I had to endure Mrs SFB squeezing my forearm for twenty minutes at the birth of number two offspring - that *really* hurt.
coprocephalous, Jun 01 2005

       that was just before he passed out.   

       20 minutes? my first confinement lasted about 36 hours.
po, Jun 01 2005

       If we have children, there's no way I'm gonna be in the room watching. Doctors have enough on their hands without me being involved.
david_scothern, Jun 01 2005

       I don't know which is worse, the physical pain a woman goes through or the mental anguish of seeing your wife going through it and not being able to really DO anything about it.
If there was a way for a man to take the pain for his wife I would have swapped in a heartbeat.

       FJ, in my tool box I have some metal punches with letters and numbers on. I use them for hammering IDs on to keys and things like that.   

       The thing is, I can't try them out, since I need one hand to hold the punch, and the other to hold the hammer. It's a shame that I couldn't try your idea out, for scientific research. Yeah, a real shame.   

       I wonder what the resolution would be, since blood tends to travel under the nail? Maybe a pin punch could be used, but several times to get big letters.   

       I remember seeing teenagers at school, who thought that a self inflicted biro tattoo was a symbol of ability to bear pain. A finger nail tattoo would command more respect, for those that are impressed by these things.
Ling, Jun 03 2005

       A definate yes. +
sartep, Jun 03 2005

       Ewww! Gross. + bun.
doctorremulac3, Jun 03 2005

       Ah, what a wonderful thought for a nice Friday afternoon...
I got sent home today from school coz I did this spectacular crash into Callum in my year group at PE and hurt my knee so badly that I had to go to the doctors...

       Sorry, I'm not in the mood for pain now, seeing as I've got a cold pack on my knee, but bun anyway.
froglet, Jun 03 2005


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