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Jacobs Lobster Ladder

50000 volts of fresh seafood
  (+2, -11)(+2, -11)
(+2, -11)
  [vote for,

Hows this - Simple old plain Jacob's Ladder, but for connectivity at the top of each of the prongy bits you simply attach the lobster via its only claws, providing it hangs on tight enough, give it a small blast..

vrrrrt..vrrrtt.. cooked..crack open, small amount of tartare...yummy.

Caution: Larger lobster recommended, and safety switch recommended..

Supercruiser, Nov 05 2003

Jacob's Ladder http://www.repairfaq.org/sam/jacobs.htm
[Supercruiser]'s link. [suctionpad, Oct 17 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Underrated film http://www.allmovie...ll?p=avg&sql=A25743
[thumbwax, Oct 17 2004]

Thor's Hammer Thor_27s_20Hammer
Possibly relevant idea [csea, Jul 22 2011]

Torrymeter http://www.google.com/search?q=torrymeter
Freshness measurement of fish based on resistance [csea, Jul 22 2011]

Ohmic heating of seafood http://www.google.c...d&btnG=Search+Books
Several books available on the subject [csea, Jul 22 2011]

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       this is the second cruelty to lobsters idea i've read within a few days. i'm allergic to seafood but lobsters certainly seem to inspire sort of violent reactions...
aquamarine, Nov 05 2003

       What is a simple old plain jacob's ladder? For me it is either a flowering plant or a childs toy. Please provide a link to the kind that you mean.
squeak, Nov 05 2003

       what is it with lobsters and halfbakery lately?
dickity, Nov 05 2003

       Hmmm...which is more cruel, electrocution or being boiled alive?
suctionpad, Nov 05 2003

       YES! ... I'm sure PETA might have have something to say, but HEY! ... its POPCORN LOBSTER! [+]
Letsbuildafort, Nov 05 2003

       The Lobster, being electrocuted, will die immediately. But what needs to happen is that the sudden shock also needs to blow the shell off as well, BANG!!! WHOOSH!! shell flys off, on yer plate, YUMMY!!!
Micky Dread, Nov 05 2003

       I don't think you're going to get a Jacob's Ladder effect with both claws attached. I predict over-cooked claws and raw tail (the best part).
Cedar Park, Nov 06 2003

alfonsejambon, Nov 06 2003

       I'm not sure it's possible to cook something using the resistive properties of the item being cooked.   

       Perhaps different foods are more suitable for this method than others. I have seen a gherkin illuminated like a light bulb under a few '000 volts, but the heat produced at the contact points is always a great deal higher than that experienced inside (and who wants a warm gherkin anyway?) - likewise there are those people who get struck by lightning and have terrible burns at the entry and exit points of the charge, but appear otherwise unharmed.   

       As a rule, charge should follow lines of least resistance, meaning that salty fluids within the item being cooked would provide conduits for the charge, allowing for the heating of some areas at the expense of others.   

       Overall, [-] a cruel method of producing nothing more than an angry lobster (he's going to let go of the contacts, and go looking for revenge) and a distinct smell of ozone.
zen_tom, Aug 01 2006

       Wouldn't this work if the lobster was not touching the contacts? I thought the point of a Jacob's ladder was that the charge arcs between the electodes. In that case, if the lobster was placed vertically it would cook from bottom to top. Placing it tail upwards would be more humane.
marklar, Aug 01 2006

       I guess, but you'd have to hold the lobster between the contacts - which is fine, but then there's the question of the properties of the lobstar's carapace, and whether it would conduct the electricity around the lobster's live-providing organs or not.
zen_tom, Aug 01 2006

       //I have seen a gherkin illuminated like a light bulb under a few '000 volts//   

DesertFox, Nov 16 2006

angel, Nov 16 2006

       lobsters are sorta cute. i like them. if my 55 gal. could handle freezing temperatures, i'd have a few.
abhorsen1983, Nov 16 2006

       It might work better if we used butter to improve the electrical connections.
normzone, Jun 17 2009

       //around the lobster's live-providing //
As opposed to its neutral-providing organs?
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Jun 17 2009

       //As opposed to its neutral-providing organs//   

       Well, nerves are electrical, so there must be a circuit in there somewhere...   

       If you really wanted to do this then probably a small electric chair might do the trick..
not_morrison_rm, Jul 21 2011

       //        I'm not sure it's possible to cook something using the resistive properties of the item being cooked.   //   

       It's possible, given a certain value of 'cooked.' Just look at any crow that put a foot wrong while messing around in a transformer station. The question for me is whether or not I'd have any desire to eat such cuisine.
Alterother, Jul 21 2011

       Oh, and as for the cruelty-to-lobsters issue, let me just say that there is no such thing, but if you feel bad about boiling them (the wrong way to cook a lobster) or steaming them (the right way to cook a lobster) or electrocuting them (a really f#€ked-up way to cook a lobster) to death, you can always drive a chef's knife through the dorsal seam above and just behind the 'eyes.' It kills them instantly.   

       As a native of Maine, I am automatically an authority on such things. I will now accept your applause.
Alterother, Jul 21 2011

       (sound of one norm clapping)
normzone, Jul 22 2011

       It is possible to cook food this way. In college I cooked hot dogs in my dorm room using two metal forks and a power cord. Cut the socket end of an extension cord off, split the two cords apart about a foot, and strip the insulation back a few inches. Attach a fork to each wire and stick the forks into opposite end of the hot dog. Hold the cord just above the split and letting the hot dog hang in mid air. plug the cord in for 60 to 70 seconds.   

       We would cook up a bunch take the cooker apart and then go eat the hot hotdogs in front of the RA. He would go Ape S__t looking for the illegal cooker but could never find one, he never did figure it out. I'm fairly sure it wouldn't work well with lobster.
duroncrush, Jul 22 2011

       When I get back on my feet, I'll go down to my shop and try it with one of my welding machines, then report back here.   

       I'll wait until lobsters go on sale, though. No way I'm paying $16 for a 1 3/4 hardshell....
Alterother, Jul 22 2011

       There's been a lot of talk about EMP weapons, and their ability to disrupt electronic equipment. I think they should be further developed to the point where they can induce a sufficiently large current pulse in food to cook it. Tactical cookery sort of thing.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 22 2011

       //try it with one of my welding machines//   

       I'm guessing that your welder puts out huge amounts of current, at fairly low voltage, sort of the opposite of what are needed to cook meat. See [link].
csea, Jul 22 2011

       My biggest machine can crank out around 36v, though I've never run it that high. You are correct, though; arc welding is a high-amperage, low-voltage process. Enlightening link, but I really meant it as a joke.   

       Still, 900 amps will do a lot of cooking. I know from past experience that it will cook a 550-rated lead coupling to a crisp.
Alterother, Jul 22 2011

       // lobsters are sorta cute. i like them. if my 55 gal. could handle freezing temperatures, i'd have a few //   

       Go ahead and get some, then; lobsters love the temperate summertime waters of the New England coast. The tank in the seafood store is kept so cold is to keep them from fighting. I'd think a lobster would be a pretty easy pet, considering they don't move around much and eat garbage. Just be careful cleaning the tank.
Alterother, Jul 22 2011

       I think electrical zapping could easily be as humane as thermal boiling.   

       I looked around and tried to find information on the electrical resistivity of shellfish to no avail. However, turned up an interesting device called the "Torrymeter" which measures resistivity / conductivity of fish as a measure of freshness. [link] Unfortunately no clue as to actual ohmic resistance.   

       Another link turned up some evidence that this may be common practice... [link]
csea, Jul 22 2011

       I gave it a plus for the name. Then read the idea. I'm against cruelty, and anyways lobsters aren't kosher, so I wouldn't eat them.   

       But the Jacob's lobster ladder is still a funny notion.
pashute, Nov 24 2013


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