Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Kidnap the moon

I'm not going to give you the moon... UNTIL YOU PAY FOR IT!
  (+13, -7)
(+13, -7)
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For centuries, citizens of the world have looked up in wonder at that most marvelous of celestial bodies, the moon. The presence of the moon has given rise to romantic evenings under the moon. In contrast, it has inspired the greatest monsters of our imagination ... the Werewolf. There is at least one religion that marks observence of certain holy duties based on the phase of the moon.

I propose, that the next country/mercenary that sets foot on the moon, bring an apparatus with them to conceal the moon from all sensors, especially our eyes. Such a person/outfit, would then explain to the world governments that they haven't paid rent on the moon for over 2,000 years, and that if they don't deliver all their gold, diamonds and Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders to a designated orbit, that the earth may also get 'swiped' (or merely tell them they'll never see the moon again).

As the originator of this caper, I require payment of a mere 2% of the kitty, and two Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. Who's in on it?

pathetic, Sep 02 2001

Steal the Sun! http://kurellian.tr...prs4.html#section13
A scenario where the sun could be stolen using an inter-dimensional transport. [mrkillboy, Sep 02 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Proof the NASA moon landings were faked http://brainsluice....om/moonlanding.html
Pissed myself... [-alx, Sep 02 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Baked. http://www.geocitie...20k/chapter_47.html
Louhi steals the sun, moon, and fire. [lawpoop, Oct 04 2004]

STILL my second favourite website! http://www.rathergood.com/moon_song/
[gnomethang, Oct 04 2004]


       The Tick?   

       [Addendum, later: Ah, no, I was mistaken. The Moon was bitten, lasered, and almost deflected into the Earth, but not kidnapped. Right. Carry on.]
Dog Ed, Sep 02 2001

       Kidnap the moon? That's childs-play. Lets do it right... lets hold the moon hostage! We can threaten the earth: "Pay us or we blow the moons head off - and we're not kidding!" We can make demands: a) deliver 28 bazillion US dollars and the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, in a small unmarked spaceship, into a parking obit exactly 230 miles above Tibet. b) force your children to learn arithmetic - the OLD way - with paper and pencil c) send us good beer or we'll hold Mars hostage too. Wow.. Think of the cash flow, the movie opportunities, the fame and fashion statements. Then, we'll cut off a small chunk of the Tycho crater and send it back to earth with a note: "See, we aren't kidding!!!". Then, during the next lunar eclipse, we'll radio a message: "We're pulling the trigger... now! [right at the moment that the penumbra blackens the moon the most]." That should really scare those earthlings.
gorn_the_great, Sep 02 2001

       We could threaten surfers worldwide with a cessation of tides ("no moon, no ninth wave, hodad!") ... but since they've probably spent all their cash on their boards and wetsuits, they might not be such good prospects for blackmail...
whatsbruin, Sep 02 2001

       I like this one almost as much as I liked dig up the earths core... I know - dig up the earths core and use the now hollow center as the perfect hiding place...
RobertKidney, Sep 02 2001

       Well, there's also the conspiracy theory that we never landed on the moon to think about. Although if we did, I like your idea, but gorn the great's promises more fun and destruction (synonyms?)
NeverDie, Sep 02 2001

       I'm with you on this! We'll have high adventure in the depths of outer space, almost like pirates! We could drink rum and sing pirate songs and discuss advanced calculus on our voyages throughout the unknown before heading off to the moon for the big takeover. Of course, when we're there, we'll have to beware of the mighty Jerry "Death Lord from the Moon" O'Fletchman. He'll surely be angry when he hears of our plan to take over his home turf and will come looking for us.
"Ahoy there, matey," I'll say as he pulls up in his space ship, which is being piloted by a large baboon. My baboon sees his and promptly jumps ship to smash his face in with a very fancy book.
"You just made your last mistake, cowboy," retorts Jerry "Death Lord from the Moon" O'Fletchman, but it's too late. I've already drawn my ninja sword and have brought it down upon his jugular. In his pocket was the deed to the moon, which is now ours.

Oh, and I want 3 cheerleaders, and they must be able to hum the entire "Clockwork Orange" theme. And be naked. And covered with honey. And have dynamite.
AfroAssault, Sep 02 2001

       AfroAssault: Latest Jackie Chan (Rush Hr. II)? Lovely woman set him up the bomb in his mouth! Just like a cheerleader with dynamite.
Dog Ed, Sep 03 2001

       ... or naked and covered with dynamite, honey.
Guy Fox, Sep 03 2001

       I love the link alx... I know - why don't we kidnap the moon and then pretend we have had it since around 1950 and use sites like that to prove that there is no proof that it has been there for the last 50 years...
RobertKidney, Sep 03 2001

       Actually <g>, the real conspiracy is to cover up the shattering reality that the moon is a collective hallucination, maintained by the same web of unconscious psychic forces that really move the tides so we can use surfboards and have pretty postcards of US Highway 1. Thus we "didn't really land" on the moon because the Apollo astronauts went beyond the operational limit of the psychic web, could no longer see the hallucination, couldn't find a place to land, and reported (in code) that the moon had been kidnapped.
whatsbruin, Sep 04 2001

       This is totally baked.   

       Louhi stole the moon (also the sun and fire) quite a while ago. See link.
lawpoop, Aug 08 2003

       We Like Tha MOON! - leave it where it is (Linky)
gnomethang, Aug 08 2003

       Why didn't Wallace and Gromit think of this idea when they had a cheese holiday?
benlevi7, Sep 05 2003

       How much would the governments of Earth pay for the moon?
Jezzie, Sep 06 2003

       I have on my wall a deed to 4 acres of the moon (supplied by MoonEstates.com, who obviously own the moon and have the right to sell it...) and as of now I am levying a 1c/hour charge for enjoying the view of my bit of moon. Anyone looking at the moon may pay me via PayPal, or purchase (10$) one of my patented MoonEstateObcurers, allowing you to see the rest of the moon with my bit hidden. We hope you enjoy my bit of moon.
wagster, Aug 29 2004

       How, exactly, would you steal the moon?
HalfBaker, Oct 04 2007

       seems like this would be illegal somehow.
bnip, Oct 04 2007

       The careful placement of a few very large mirrors would make the moon disappear from our point of view.
Voice, May 26 2008


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