Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Meritocratic tomb

A tomb that gets bigger the more people visit it
  (+7, -5)
(+7, -5)
  [vote for,

...er, that pretty much sums it up. I was wandering round a graveyard a few months ago, as you do, and there was a big sign saying that they weren't taking any more bodies because there was no room. They were full. And as I wandered, I pondered on who was buried there. Nobody famous, that was for sure. It was full - jammed solid - with people who'd been buried hundreds of years ago and hardly anyone knew who they were - most of the tombs were covered in ivy and you couldn't have discovered who they were even if you cared, which clearly nobody did.

(it was a little more diplomatic than that, but that was the gist)

So... let's make room by forgetting about people who nobody cares about any more. This might sound brutal, but the point is nobody cares. We get rid of graves for people who nobody cares about - nobody cares. By definition. How do we work out whether anybody's still interested? Well. originally I had some sort of nanotechnological thingy which would naturally move towards where people were, but that gets problematic ~(especially near the entrance - don't want bits of tomb wandering off). So instead, let's have a simple system where each person coming into the graveyard pays for a token, which they then pop into a discreet slot on the tomb. Half the money goes to charity, and half goes to upkeeping/upgrading the tomb, using material from nearby, less popular tombs. Tombs that rot away are swept clean (let's assume the bodies have rotted away by now) and somebody else can be popped in the plot.

moomintroll, Oct 25 2004

Ashes Travel to Heaven for Space Burial Aboard Rocket http://www.space.co...aunched_991221.html
Bob Dylan's request of "see that my grave is kept clean" could prove expensive if he were to go like this. [spiritualized, Oct 26 2004]

It's not the popularity of the person--here's just one example. http://goodandevil....om/img/onesheet.jpg
[ldischler, Oct 26 2004]

Or maybe this http://www.halfbake...20To_20Life_20Co_2e
I have always thought burial is anti-natural. I wouldn't encourage it. [Pericles, Oct 27 2004]


       Kind of sad for the forgotten, but the idea has it's merits. We are after all running out of grave space in the cities. [+]   

       PS Has Snufkin left for the winter yet?
wagster, Oct 25 2004

       I'd like to think that when I die, that my grave stone will still stand many years after anybody remembers who I am.   

       Many novelists find names for their characters by paying visit to the gravestone of a person long forgotten. Wouldn't it be nice to think that, in some strange way, that you'll be reincarnated as a hero in some novel?
spiritualized, Oct 25 2004

       Also, having a sign reading "this tomb is emptied daily" plastered on your gravestone is slightly worrying.
spiritualized, Oct 25 2004

       yeah, very hb.   

       feel there should be a dancing on your grave vote too though.   

       remember that my classmates and me were going to dance on a certain Boyle, whose law we just could not get the hang of - poor soul - sorry!
po, Oct 25 2004

       And the grass infront of their tomb parts to reveal an arcade dance mat.
spiritualized, Oct 25 2004

       Here (Sweden), everyone has a right to a free grave, 1 square meter for an urn or 2.88 square meters for a casket. Unless payment is made or another body is buried there, it’s gone after 25 years.
FarmerJohn, Oct 25 2004

       Hmmm. Not sure about this one. You do make a lot of sensible points, moonmin, but something about it just sits funny with me. Fair enough, there are a lot of tombs and plots that no-one visits anymore, but the fact that they are there means that that nameless person was once known and loved and made an impact on the world and the people around them. It doesn't seem right to just "sweep it clean". Also, there's a certain Ozymandian charm about hugely ornate and obviously expensive memorials eventually falling into neglect and disrepair.   

       Still, if it has to be done, maybe we could re-use the assorted concrete crosses and headstones Tetris-style to build new structures from the old. At least then they'd still retain their inscriptions, even if you might have to tilt your head to read them.   

       I am all for the tomb-token idea, though. But it can't just be popped through a slot. When I was a kid, I always wanted one of those money banks shaped like a crypt, where your coin was mechanically dragged into the tomb by a plastic skeletal hand. There's bound to be loads on eBay these days.   

       And welcome to the HB, by the way. Great first post, despite my personal reservations.
lostdog, Oct 25 2004

       "My GOD have you seen the size of Jim Morrison"
neilp, Oct 26 2004

       Nice category choice btw.
P.S. aah, the Moomins, them were the days. Welcome to the HB.
neilp, Oct 26 2004

       [+] for this, though I don't think it goes far enough. If the policy of assigning everyone a little bit of ground when they die continues, then sometime we run out of space, simple as that. We'd probably stop burying long before that happened, but we might as well recognise the trend now. Mandatory cremation/sea burial/space grave is the way forward methinks.
DocBrown, Oct 26 2004

       Personally, I want to be exploded.
harderthanjesus, Oct 26 2004

       it can be arranged :)
po, Oct 26 2004

       According to the 2000 census, Colma, California had a "living" population of 1,191. The "other" census put the number of bodies at over a million.   

       It is interesting that the city of San Francisco has banned any burials within the city/county boundaries and everyone has to leave the city after dying.   

       I have to remain neutral on this idea because I visit gravesites just to see who is buried there and how old they were when they died. Of course, it helps that we have so many pioneer cemeteries here.
Klaatu, Oct 26 2004

       // everyone has to leave the city after dying. // -could prove tricky.
spiritualized, Oct 26 2004

       This idea leaves a clear statement: keeping the bodies of people is no longer viable. Why keeping them, on the first place, when there are another alternatives? [link]
Pericles, Oct 27 2004

       Okay, so it's been a few days, but it's nice to see I stirred up a bit of curiosity! The token thing is in bad taste, isn't it? Tetris was much more on my mind, thank you lostdog!How about giving out lego bricks instead of tokens? 'Course, then you've gotta prevent the kids from turning the whole place into a giant robot (There's a headline: Graveyard goes berserk, tramples city)
moomintroll, Oct 27 2004


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