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Have you ever wondered if you really are alive, or merely playing out a parody of a living human (as Kieth Richards has done for years.) Well this may be the solution for YOU!!, "PAINFUL PULSE" It may look like your run of the mill chunk of barbed wire embeded in your wrist, but this highly crafted
product has been tested by SCIENTISTS and recommended to geriatric patients (clients) in test markets across the country. Why pinch your self when you too can have a PAINFUL PULSE.
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||Hmmm... It might kind of discourage you from doing any pulse-raising activity ie. exercise. You would get less fit and then your pulse would go up anyway, so maybe it would be better to do some. No pain - no gain!
||Wasn't this baked about 2000 years ago with Jesus H. Christ?
||Advice to wearers: Stay calm and try to remain disinterested. We're not equipped for a lot of screaming and kicking.