Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Project Tinkerbell

Breed Small Winged Folk & Release Them In Kensington Gardens
  [vote for,

for this project we need suitable facilities & equipment, a disused battery hen farm somewhere secluded might be suitable, add a second hand dental x-ray machine to the cages already in situ & we're (almost) good to go

the x-ray is to check for small changes in bone structure so we don't have to needlessly slaughter potentially useful breeding stock, just to see if they are potentially useful breeding stock

add to that the requisite livestock - namely a shed load of mice

using the time honored methods of selective breeding combined with a little GM jiggery pokery develop four to six inch tall replica people from them

completely to scale accept for some small changes to the original model so they'll be cuter (we can probably take our lead from manga comics here) - we also want them to be bioluminescent, have wings (could be a problem but we might coax a suitably placed pair of ribs into the task of forming a third pair of limbs & for the wings themselves hair grown to prodigious proportions & appropriate shape, like a rhino's horn.. but thinner, some muscles will also need to be repurposed), hollow bones to make flight easier, be able to talk & a bit more intelligent than mice

we're only aiming for the intelligence of a four year old but anything brighter than a budgie will do really

this is all going to take a while

we now teach them all to say "have you seen Peter" as a greeting whenever they meet someone - to fall on the floor (with much theatre) & pretend to be dead if anyone says they don't believe in fairies - & give anyone who claps their hands & says they do believe in faeries a kiss on the cheek

when you have several hundred (at least) load them all up into a large van drive to Kensington Gardens & release (preferably at night when no-ones about)

go home, burn the chicken farm to the ground with all the evidence in it (you may need to take out contracts on any staff to keep your secret), sit back & watch the news

the ensuing media storm the following morning should prove well worth several decades of effort & the large sums of money spent on the project

any pronouncements from the Vatican or similar religious institutions should prove especially amusing

who said being a mad scientist couldn't be fun?

Skewed, Jun 21 2016

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       Are you related to: e e cummings ?
popbottle, Jun 21 2016

       // Are you related to: e e cummings ? //   

       no not especially   

       I know he did some stuff with faeries but I'll need pointers if it was anything more specific than that?   

       I'm surprised you didn't ask about J M Barrie instead
Skewed, Jun 21 2016

       the cummings reference is re your lack of capitals   

       but the idea is spiffy
smendler, Jun 22 2016

       //who said being a mad scientist couldn't be fun?//   

       Nobody, as far as I'm aware.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 24 2016

       Ah.. that would be the voices again then
Skewed, Jun 24 2016

       // the cummings reference //   

       [face-plant] that I wouldn't have got, thanks for the enlightenment [smend]
Skewed, Jun 24 2016


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