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Real Celebrity Death Match

Not plastacine! Real celebrities!
  (+2, -7)(+2, -7)
(+2, -7)
  [vote for,

As a punishment/deterrant for being (in general) an overpaid, egotistical, plastic breasted, talentless bunch of parasites, we could have a televised celebrity deathmath, say every Saturday. Viewing would be free - a kind of latterday Gladiator match to upease the modern mob.

All celebrities would have their names stored on a computer which would randomly select two every week. They would not be 'seeded' or matched by sex, weight, age etc. just to add to the entertainment. They would then have to fight to the death, MadMax THUNDERDOME style!!

Some celebrities could gain exemption from this if deemed particularly nice in general, actually have talent or be generous with their cash or time in terms of charitable donations.

Hopefully this would mean we would be left with good actors etc. and we could dispose of the rest with the added bonus of having something good to watch on TV on a Saturday night (I think you'll all agree this is desperatly needed). This would also allow new talent to enter the celebrity world, giving better opportunities for all.

Depending on popularity we could increase the frequency of the matches, perhaps a mid-week match, or even a daily event.

ferret, May 04 2002

Real World Masters of Kombat http://www.halfbake...sters_20of_20Kombat
[phoenix, May 04 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Pro-Celebrity Boxing http://www.halfbake...-Celebrity_20Boxing
[phoenix, May 04 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Fox's Celebrity Boxing http://www.ananova....tory/sm_544128.html
Ananova news report, incl. results. [pottedstu, May 06 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Time: Celebrity Boxing is a Stiff http://www.time.com...9565,217249,00.html
"Celebrity Boxing was not nearly as pleasurable in practice as in concept". Funny article though. [pottedstu, May 06 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

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       Please find a proper catagory when posting.
phoenix, May 04 2002

       Isn't 'celebrities' the correct category then?   

       Those other ideas are similar but not the same!   

       I wish people would justify fishbones with annotations!
ferret, May 04 2002

       thought this was going to be: real celebrity death march - very uplifting. [ferret] you have been here hours and you are moaning already. some of us have been locked in here for decades with no food, no water , no companionship (unless you count the rats on the wheels), no music, no art, no culture, no humus, no shopping, no sleep - oh buggar I'm off to watch the FA cup.
po, May 04 2002

       au contraire, it appears (possibly due to aformentioned prison sentance) you lot have become the moaners: far too cynical and lost all vision for making the world a better place! ;-)
ferret, May 04 2002

       Isn't 'celebrities' the correct category then? you are in ; other - general. round of applause, you corrected your error.   

       Those other ideas are similar but not the same! - true, phoenix is probably as bored as I am with death non-ideas   

       I wish people would justify fishbones with annotations! we do not have to and *that* has been discussed at length too. we fishbone because we want to and that is our right as true and loyal halfbakers.
po, May 04 2002

       "...you lot have become the moaners: far too cynical and lost all vision for making the world a better place..."
We started out that way. How does your idea make the world a better place? Is it fun? Is it practical? Is it funny? Is it artistic?

       No one has said the idea is improper for the HB, but don't expect it to garner a lot of support.
phoenix, May 04 2002

       hello ferret face, just do not like this one, sorry.
po, May 04 2002

       Less celebrities + Entertaining TV = Better world!
ferret, May 04 2002

       I think another "m f d" category is in order here. Something like "[m-f-d] Punishment via contest" (that is, all such ideas should be "m f d" because there is no possible new, funny, interesting, worthwhile idea of this kind -- they are all over. Are we clear?)
globaltourniquet, May 04 2002

       (Wipe the slate clean and start from scrath? We do that every time there's a wave of new people....)
phoenix, May 04 2002

       this week on Celebrity Deathmatch, it's Ariel Sharon vs. Yasser Arafat!
Next week: Ted 'The Ladies Man' Kennedy dukes it out with Dubya...
Oh, what's this? Somebody threw a dead fish in the wring! Things are gonna get ugly!
RayfordSteele, May 05 2002

       "upease" (!)
beauxeault, May 05 2002

       [ferret], I'm justifying my fishbone: I think this idea is boring and idiotic.  Another in a series of "punish all who do, or are, something that the author doesn't like" ideas that the HB, unfortunately, seems to attract.
bristolz, May 05 2002

       Hasn't this been done on TV without to the death aspect? Vanilla Ice duking it out with Tonya Harding or something? From what I've heard the fights were boring and one-sided and rubbish TV.
pottedstu, May 06 2002

       Far better to don a ninja suit, locate a particularly idiotic celebrity and continually kick their heels when out walking. When they turn around to see who it was, affect nonchalant ninja pose. Repeat until celebrity lamps you. Then beat the celebrity to death.   

       Advantages of this approach:
(a) you - yes! you personally! - get the satisfaction of squeezing the life out of Jay Leno.
(b) you'll never get caught because the police will be looking for a ninja while you're safely tucked up in bed, reading A.A. Milne and drinking gin.
(c) it won't be on TV, so it won't stink up the screen.
calum, May 06 2002


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