Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Soylent Green Emergency Kit

for commercial airliners that travel over remote, treacherous (yet picturesque) landscape.
  [vote for,

As well as a comprehensive etiquette guide (is the Muslim corpsicle considered "halal" ?), the package contains recipe books, packets of selected herbs and spices (enough for 6 weeks of "bare bones" living or 2 hours of TV drama, whichever comes first), cookware which size and shape are based on human anatomy, a dozen straws with an instructional video, and a small shovel to bury the bones.
FlyingToaster, Aug 09 2013


       Maybe the in-flight magazine could feature recipes.
RayfordSteele, Aug 09 2013

       What if you're the only person on the plane that didn't get incinerated in the crash fireball ?
8th of 7, Aug 09 2013

       /the only person/ You may conclude there is something very different about you. During your isolation consider further experiments with fire (you may use provided cookware) to explore the possibility that you may be a robot or a demigod.
bungston, Aug 09 2013

       // you may be a robot or a demigod. //   

       We're a bit of both, actually, but thankyou for mentioning it.
8th of 7, Aug 09 2013

       I didn't know demigods had bits.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 09 2013

       //only person// The handbook appendix contains a selection of Descartes treatises plus some helpful tips should you be the sole survivor with no edible compatriots, eg: "Save your head for last".
FlyingToaster, Aug 09 2013

       I've always been keen on the idea of a couple of potatoes wrapped in foil under the seats. Should the airplane crash and burn, at least they'll be jacket potatoes for the fire crew/survivors.   

       //I didn't know demigods had bits.   

       I think it's more bytes that bits, and the first byte is the deepest
not_morrison_rm, Aug 09 2013

       //"Save your head for last".//   

       That reminds me of a Roahl Dahl short story about a surgeon who gets stuck on a desert island and resorts to performing increasingly large amputations on himself (to eat) and survive. I think he was rescued in the end with little more than his head and one arm.   

       Absolutely cannot find the name of it. Great little story. Maybe a little dark...
Custardguts, Aug 11 2013

       Sounds like "Survivor Type" by Stephen King.   

       "Lady-fingers, they taste just like lady-fingers."   

       Ooooh, could be King's as well. In my mind it was Roahl Dahl - his non-childrens fiction was always very dark. Thanks.
Custardguts, Aug 13 2013

       You're welcome, I haven't seen the name Roahl Dahl yet so... thank you right back.   

       // I haven't seen the name Roahl Dahl yet //   

       You're in for a treat, then, and like as not several episodes of waking suuddenly in the night, screaming.
8th of 7, Aug 13 2013

       Yeah, his childrens books, whilst his most famous, are actually not as good as his mature fiction.
Custardguts, Aug 13 2013


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