Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Strip Club Boss Key

Strip Club nights suitable for your wife
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Old games used to have a special button that you press to instantly display a something that looks work-related, in case the boss walks in. That was called a "boss key". Strip clubs need the same.

About once a month, the strip club converts into an upstanding place. Only men are allowed to know which night.

When your wife or girlfriend asks where you've been going once a week, you tell her that it's no big deal and invite her to the strip club on that special night. Instead of the usual, the women are dressed and unattractive and you just read books and discuss politics with the guys. The goal is to make sure that she doesn't mind your continued patronage of the place AND that she finds it so boring that she never wants to join you again.

eyal, Apr 10 2007

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       A nice idea, but why not just take her somewhere boring and say you've been going there?
wagster, Apr 10 2007
  

       If the women there are too unattractive, then your wife will either (a) not believe you ever go there, or (b) want to come with you all the time, since she feels so much prettier than the others.
phundug, Apr 10 2007
  

       Y'all have much shallower wives than I do. And much less perceptive.
Galbinus_Caeli, Apr 10 2007
  

       What if your wife or girlfriend *wanted* to attend the strip club with you on a regular night? Is it suitable for her in that case?   

       What if you pulled the boss key stunt and she said, "Hmm, this isn't what it looks like when I've been here before..."
Libertine, Apr 10 2007
  

       Or "This isn't what it looked like when I worked here..."
Galbinus_Caeli, Apr 10 2007
  

       //Y'all have much shallower wives than I do// - Exactly how many non-shallow wives do you have, [Galbinus]?
wagster, Apr 10 2007
  

       Yeah, this would work for Andy of Mayberry.
Seriously, do you think a woman would believe any of it? [-] sorry
xandram, Apr 10 2007
  

       My fiancee's sister strips - er, I mean dances at a local club. We've been there a couple of times, and since her sister is in effect the "mom" stripper to all the younger girls there, we're minor royalty when we arrive. Odd experience.   

       So I don't think she'd buy this.
normzone, Apr 10 2007
  

       Go ahead go out.. see if I really care.. Just don't come home earlier than you said you would. We women can and do have special plans for our freedom time.   

       now which monitor button do I push so the hidden gps locater implanted in your jacket warns me you are on the way home..
Isayhello2u, Apr 10 2007
  

       I often go drinking with a bunch of guys, and one of them only ever stays five minutes or so before going. Except one time, he came with his wife (who knows the group), and they stayed all evening. So the reason he leaves so early is either a) he is being dragged home to the wife; or b) he's actually up to something nefarious all evening, using us as an alibi. I'm thinking (b).
DrCurry, Apr 10 2007
  

       I know a lot of ladies who enjoy books immensely. I suggest that your "boss key" night feature a video game marathon, or model railroad club. I know some guys that can help set it up so long as you don't tell them what the place really does.   

       Also don't make the girls look unattractive. Just have far less of them, dressed of course, and make them wear BO perfume. Giving the club a slight musty odor might also be extremely effective.
ye_river_xiv, Apr 11 2007
  

       //Giving the club a slight musty odor might also be extremely effective.//   

       Don't most strip clubs already have this?
Galbinus_Caeli, Apr 11 2007
  

       What's with this pole?   

       for the firemen when the place gets heated.
po, Apr 11 2007
  

       Ha! I was going to say that this idea is in set in the same universe sitcom plots come from, but I didn't expect it to literally be true...
jutta, Apr 11 2007
  

       //"This isn't what it looked like when I worked here..."// Heh.
Ling, Apr 12 2007
  

       // I know a lot of ladies who enjoy books immensely.//   

       Why has no one built a lounge combining social activity and more intellectual stimulation? Kind of a library/chess and board game room/debate club/etc for adults only? Why are practically all the clubs just about dancing, drinking, and promiscuity?
Voice, Sep 16 2022
  
      
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