Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Swimming with Televisions

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In order to create Swimming with Televisions you will need just three items:
1 a substantial pool of water or small lake.
2 a large number of old style, working televisions, each of which is totally waterproofed.
3 an underwater sealed gantry system to deliver the necessary electrical power supply to the televisions in total safety.

Once you have assembled the items, you need to randomly distribute the televisions within their new watery location. Many will bob around at odd angles on the surface, but others will be positioned like mines at various depths, tethered by their waterproof electrical supply cables.

All televisions will be switched on, and tuned to a range of diverse channels. Now all you have to do is to get into the water and start Swimming with Televisions.

When you have swum around amongst the surface sets, you may begin diving down to sample the spooky spectacle of various adverts, the latest news from the Congo, Jamie Oliver's cooking rants, a documentary about swimming with camels, etc, etc, all played out complete with sound underwater.

xenzag, Nov 25 2008

I'ts a start. http://users.skynet...by_correiae_web.jpg
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Nov 25 2008]

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       Instructables.com people take note.
kamathln, Nov 25 2008

       //which is totally waterproofed//   

       Insulating 25 KV in a resistive medium is no joke. Any pointers on how it is to be done?   

       Change that lake of water to a pool of clear transformer oil and this becomes feasible.
neelandan, Nov 25 2008

       //Insulating 25 KV //
Maybe for a CRT, but in the TV world, things have moved on a bit since the 20th Century.
coprocephalous, Nov 25 2008

       //I can't think of anything worse// - I know what you mean - I'd quite like this idea if all the televisions were unobtrusively set into the walls of the swiming pool and playing short video loops of birds flying against a clear blue sky.
hippo, Nov 25 2008

       Or dolphins. With the occasional corner-of-the eye glimpse of a Great White shark.
8th of 7, Nov 25 2008

       //I can't think of anything worse//   

       How about:
Juggling with Prostitutes
Fucking with Dinosaurs
Toying with Power Sockets
Playing in Traffic
Running with Scissors
Shooting-Up with Heroin Addicts
Jumping with Razor Blades
Fighting with Weasels
zen_tom, Nov 25 2008

       Or, of course, the worst of them all: Dances with Wolves.   

       This is really lovely, perfectly unhinged. It's the sort of thing you'd want the hero of the film to discover as he walks alone through the rocky desert: a cinderblock house, complete with clanking tin windmill, with no signs of recent occupation other than the crystal blue of the perfectly maintained, astroturf-edged swimming pool, in which the televisions bob and lurk bewilderingly. Ubercroissant.
calum, Nov 25 2008

       //the worst of them all: Dances with Wolves//

Au contraire! The remake of 'Fun with Dick & Jane' surely?

I too rather like the idea but it should be in the category Culture:Art:Visual rather than under Sport.
DrBob, Nov 25 2008

       <tears rolling down face>   

       [z_t] is a very silly man.
wagster, Nov 25 2008

       I honestly think that with the right (extremely rich) patron, our [xenzag] could blag his way into Tate Modern.
wagster, Nov 25 2008


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